Friday, October 19, 2012

Theater Whore: Argo


When I want historical accuracy I watch a documentary or jump into my time machine where I make George Washington cry by calling him “Termite Mouth.” When I want to be entertained I watch a good film and Argo was that film. Seriously. People are getting upset about changes made in this film compared to what actually happened. Go watch a cartoon and have a Pop Tart, you weirdoes. It’s a movie. They could’ve gave all the hostages kung fu powers if they felt like it. I saw this over at The Vista in Silverlake and it was my first time in that theater. It is very cool. Wish I had time to get popcorn…


In 1979, the best year ever, the U.S Embassy in Tehran is being protested because we have their former Shah and he is all nice and cozy after apparently doing a lot of horrible shit to the people of the country and they want him back. The US is like “Nope.” The people start rioting and they storm the embassy and the workers start burning everything and shredding documents. One of the guards is all “I’m gonna go talk to them…” and is instantly blindfolded and held at gunpoint. Six folks get away and hide with the Canadian representatives. One of the hostages is played by Clea Duvall who I now have a crush on all over again.


Star and director of this movie Ben Affleck is Tony Mendez…yes. He plays a guy named Mendez. Look, if that bothers you go and make your own movie. He does an amazing job in this movie and this is the best acting I’ve seen from the guy. So he gets the idea to head to Tehran and rescue the hostages by pretending to direct a movie. The US government thinks the plan is stupid. What was their plan? Give the hostages bikes. Yep. Ride 300 miles to the border on bikes.


Bryan Cranston is Mendez’ supervisor and helps him along the way supporting his mission. They bring in a Hollywood makeup artist John Chambers played by John Goodman and film producer Lester Siegal played by Alan Arkin. I swear I would watch a film with just these two hanging out and talking. They have to actually plan this fake movie by hiring actors and getting funding. It’s a science fiction film titled Argo. Mendez has to make false documents and a backstory for each hostage. Mendez meets the hostages and most of them are on board with the plan. One dude of course is all “This isn’t gonna work we’re gonna die I don’t trust you whah whah whah!” Leave him behind!


He finally agrees to go. The hostage takers have a bunch of kids, I shit you not, putting together shredded documents like Penguin in Batman Returns and figuring out what the missing embassy workers look like. It works and now they are being hunted! There is way more to this movie but it involves lots of places I cant pronounce and names I cant remember.


The trailer for this movie makes it almost look like some form of comedy. While there are some funny parts this movie is fucking intense! There were plenty of times my poor friend got her arm kung fu gripped. Like this one scene where they’re in a van and they have to travel right through a protest. People are screaming at their van and slapping it and shit. I was like “Mr. Plow that’s my name that name again is Mr. Plow!” Because I’m a lunatic and would easily run people over. Remember that when you wanna ask “Hey, Dante, why don’t you drive?” 


This movie uses lots of old news footage from the actual hostage crisis that went on for over a year. You get a glimpse at how Americans were handling it and the tone of the country at the time. The directing was fucking awesome. Oh, and the music was cool. There were plenty of times where I was tapping my foot to the beat. Check this movie out if you can. It will probably get nominated for a lot of things, one of which is the Get In My Pants Award that will be given to Clea Duvall. First person to bring up her sexuality obviously has no idea that reality is suggestive to me.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

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Hoozle said...

I just saw this (it opened here only this weekend). Absolutely loved it. Yeah, the wussy guy really annoyed me, first he was all in denial about the dangers while his wife was saying 'we gotta go', and then he's so super-aware of the danger that he won't take the risks and escape. I liked that he was the guy who held his nerve at the airport though. It showed a good grasp of human nature.

I also liked that Affleck made sure to show what happened to the Canadian Embassy's housekeeper, that she ended up fleeing to Iraq from her home, as she would have been imprisoned and tortured for lying about the houseguests. All the Westerners went back to heroic welcomes and a nice comfortable lifestyle, whereas that woman, who was as brave as any of them and braver than some, ended up as a refugee. Respect for Ben Affleck. As this is just a movie version of the events, I would really hope that if in reality, back in 1979 the housekeeper did take such risks, she would have been offered refugee status in Canada by her employers. What a shitty world we live in.

But I really liked this movie, not just because it's entertaining but because without being obnoxiously patriotic, it shows America and Americans at its best. It was really cool. Loved the line about the president saying Mendez was a great American. 'A great American what?'. 'He didn't say!'. Haha.

Dante said...

Thank god that guy stood up for himself eventually. I thought that he was gonna be the first one to start freaking out at the airport. That scene was so damned intense. When the guard at the airport was making the call and no one was picking up people in the theater were whispering "Pick up the phone...!"

I felt bad for the housekeeper. I was mad at her at first when she mentioned that the guests never left the house. I was like "Is she snitching?" I'm still not 100% sure she mentioned the guests to people or not but did feel bad that she had to run away.

This was probably one of the most well balanced films I'd scene. I cant wait to do my best of 2012 list in a month or so. This for sure is going on it.