Theater Whore: Mad Max Fury Road

Mad Max Fury Road 9/10

Damn, this was an awesome ass movie! There will be some spoilers while I talk about this. Funny though, even if I explained the entire movie I doubt it would take away any joy you'd have in watching a movie that keeps you on the edge of your seat the entire time. Well, there are some small breaks but its just for the characters in it to catch their breath. And then more explosions!

After the world has fucked itself up because in movies the future is either perfect with evil underneath or just wrecked Max played by Tom Hardy is just minding his own crazy business in the desert when these guys called War Boys show up and snatch him up. He is a universal blood donor which is good for everyone but him and has his information tattooed onto his back. With some inspiration from his hallucinations he manages to get away for a minute until being caught again. He is used as a “blood bag” for this guy Nux played by Nicholas Hoult. He is crazy as all hell.

Theater Whore: Jurassic World

Jurassic World 3/10

Spoilers! “These people. They never learn.” I feel the same way Black guy in the movie! Jurassic World is just like the previous Jurassic Park movies in that there is one person you should be listening to and no one does so people have to die. This is the story of cell phones never working when you need them to the most. And stupid humans. And annoying kids. Oh, and a dinosaur that is all about killing other things that breathe. 

I wanted the evil super dinosaur to win the entire film. I shouldn't have felt that way. I shouldn't have had to stifle so many yawns either. There should have been people I wanted to survive and win but the only one that I felt this way for was Star Lord aka Chris Pratt as Owen Grady because he's the best thing about this movie, the dreamy bastard.

Bryce Dallas Howard plays Claire Dearing. She is the park manager and is in charge, needs no man telling her what to do, kids, or anything. She's also dumb as hell and willing to put everyone in danger to keep the park open. She's also a huge fan of using her cell when doing 100 through the jungle. Vincent D'Onofrio is in this playing a guy dying to kill some shit in a role that could've been played by a dozen other actors who are known for playing this role. It was a waste of his talent.

The Review: Despicable Me

I finally got around to watching the movie Despicable Me which came out almost five years ago. It stars Steve Carell as Gru who is a super villain that is being out-shined by a villain that has been taking monuments from around the world. He ends up adopting these three girls to get them into the home of a villain to steal his shrink ray and head to the moon. I didn't like this movie. I get why some people would because crazy things happen and the voices are strange but it wasn't enough to keep me interested. An animated film shouldn't feel long.

All I knew about it was that there were little yellow creatures that sound like Shakira and Carell did the voice of the bad guy. The voice was immediately distracting to me. If there was no strange accent it would've helped me like this a tiny bit more. 

It felt like that movie Megamind where it was as if I jumped into some story that was past halfway done and I was playing catch up. There are some animated movies that make me laugh my ass off like Penguins of Madagascar or are all around good like How To Train Your Dragon 2. I didn't laugh a single time while watching this. I don't get why people love this so much.

Click here for previous The Review.

The Review: Bronson

I finally got around to watching the movie Bronson starring Tom Hardy. I was hoping for a really cool film because all I knew about it was that it was based off the true story of a guy named Michael Peterson that changed his name to Charles Bronson after the actor. 

This is about Peterson who lives a life of violent crime and spends most of his life in solitary confinement. When he is not there he is causing havoc. When he is on the outside he wants to make a name for himself and fights underground and eventually dogs. This is from the same director that did Drive which I enjoyed quite a bit which means out of the three films he's directed I liked one. 

I wouldn't recommend this to anyone. Not because of the violence which there is plenty of or for the ladies that wanna see his wang flopping around. The pacing of this stinks and there is just too many ideas thrown in the air and instead of being left on the cutting room floor were put in. Some things just sound cooler on paper. I didn't laugh, cringe, or feel any kind of hope while watching this. It was like reading the autobiography for someone I don't care for which I've done before. It feels like it thinks its being clever when its mostly just psychotic. One thing that was done well was the soundtrack.

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Ross Radio Quickie Show 23

I recently watched the movie Seven Psychopaths and it had some good songs I wanted to play. The Stone Poneys feat. Linda Ronstadt Different Drum, P.P. Arnold The First Cut Is The Deepest, Blossom Dearie Inside A Silent Tear, Helen Shapiro You Don't Know, and Veda Brown Don't Start Loving Me (If You're Gonna Stop). Click here for this and previous Ross Radio Quickie Shows. 

The Review: Seven Psychopaths

This will have spoilers. Last night I watched the crazy ass movie Seven Psychopaths. Its hard to even explain what its about because while it is a good movie I was more interested in the movie within the movie. Colin Farrell is Marty Freeman who is struggling to finish a script called Seven Psychopaths. 

For some reason he can't think of any good ones to create. He also has a drinking problem. His friend is Billy Bickle played by Sam Rockwell. He and Hans played by Christopher Walken steal folks dogs and bring them back for a reward.