Dante Watches Night Of The Demons

 Night Of The Demons 6/10

I watched this crazy ass movie where a bunch of “teens” go to a party that they were invited to by someone no one seems to like. This movie was actually good. I talked a lot of nonsense while watching and laughed my ass off. This movie has everything. Pervy brothers, sexual harassment, synth music, demons, Coors Light, coffin sex. And is that JB Smoove? No. It's Rodger, the hero we all deserve!

Cathy Podewell as Judy

Amelia Kinkade as Angela Franklin

William Gallo as Sal Romero

Alvin Alexis as Rodger

Linnea Quigley as Suzanne

Lance Fenton as Jay Jansen

Hal Havins as Stooge

Allison Barron as Helen

Philip Tanzini as Max

Jill Terashita as Frannie

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The Review: The Boys S2E6

 

"The Bloody Doors Off"

This episode was full of so much information and gives some backstory to characters we have heard of and ones we thought we knew. I need to mention that this episode jumps back and forth with time so trying to write this in order ain't gonna happen. Frenchie is shown with his old crew eight years ago doing drugs. He is dating a guy and the lady we've met before. He gets caught by Mallory because he is good at stealing and mixing chemicals that are effective even against Supes. She says she will stop him and his friends from going to prison if he helps. He is skeptical but the shit works. She, Mother's Milk, and Butcher blackmail Lamplighter after making fun of his ass. Apparently he looks good in lace. Frenchie is told to tail Lamplighter on the night that he murdered Mallory's children.

Dante Watches Chopper Chicks In Zombietown

Chopper Chicks In Zombietown 4/10

These biker ladies calling themselves Cycle Sluts roll into a town that don't want them to face off against some zombies that have broken free. The only thing that stands between this town being destroyed are some biker ladies, a bus full of blind kids, and a little person. I'm not making any of this up.

Jamie Rose as Dede

Catherine Carlen as Rox

Lycia Naff as T. C.

Vicki Frederick as Jewel

Kristina Loggia as Jojo

Gretchen Palmer as Rusty

Martha Quinn as Mae Clutter

Don Calfa as Ralph Willum

Billy Bob Thornton as Donny

Hal Sparks as Lance

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The Review: Raised By Wolves S1E3

"Virtual Faith"

This show is nuts. I mean that in a good way. So much happens in each episode that my ass thought that I was like two more episodes past where I am. Mother is telling all the kids a story. They don't wanna hear it because it is not allowed in their religion. She tells it anyway. Its Three Little Pigs. It scares them. They don't know better. After the shit her kid Campion pulled she now carries her battle eyes around her neck. This episode jumps around through time so it was a tiny bit confusing.

The Review: No Holds Barred

 

No Holds Barred RIP 'EM/10

Good lord. I have not seen this movie since it first came out. This was I believe the third movie I ever saw in a theater when I was 10 years old. After watching this again I can not believe how cool I thought this was or why I thought that Zeus was someone I should model my behavior afterward by wrapping foil around my wrists and clanging people on their shoulders. Can that even kill or cripple someone? I think it would hurt quite a bit. Anyhoot, our hero/psychopath is Rip Thomas. He rips 'em! He wrestles and this evil dude named Brell wants to buy him and have him fight for his...company? I'm not sure exactly. But he wants Rip badly.

The Review: The Boys S2E4 and E5

 

"Nothing Like It in the World"

This episode had a lot going on! The Deep is being set up by his church cult to get a new bride. The episode has cuts of different women speaking and you're not sure what it is about until it is revealed that Deep is supposed to choose one. He wants the nasty one but that is not what his ass is gonna get. Frenchie is snorting coke and goes to console Kimiko and tries to kiss her. She shoves his ass away and leaves. He dumb. He shouldn't have done that. Homelander confronts Starlight over not killing Hughie when he told her to and uses his lie detecting ability while jamming his hand into her ribs. He lets her live. For now. 

Grace gives Billy an old ad with this hero Liberty we keep seeing hints of and he sends Mother's Milk and Hughie to go see what's up. She also gives Billy the location of where Becca is because she just straight up feels bad for him now. Billy finds Becca and they set up a secret meeting and start boning down and smoking. He wants her to run away with him but she is reluctant having a kid and all. It is Homelander's kid but still. It's hers. I don't know. I ain't a parent. 

The Review: Gemini Man

Gemini Man 5/10

So I saw that Gemini Man was on Amazon last night and decided to check it out. I had heard that this movie was not that good and the frames per second were strange looking and the CGI unconvincing. But what I wasn't hearing about was the actual story. I know from the trailer that this dude ends up fighting a younger version of himself. That is pretty much it really. Henry Brogan (these names...) wants to stay retired. He has killed a lot of people and can't look at his own face. Get it?! They do this a lot. He meets this lady named Danny and it turns out she was assigned to tail him. They become buddies and a team of killers come to take him him. And her. And pretty much anyone that he has talked to in the last few days. He escapes because he is the best sniper/killer man ever in the history of Earth. Until he battles himself.

The Review: The Devil All The Time

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The Review: Doom Patrol Season 2

Doom Patrol Season Two 6/10

Full of spoilers. I finished the second season of Doom Patrol. I normally cover each episode but since I watched so many in clumps I am gonna just talk about the characters and how I felt about them by the end of the season. I broke them down into categories of good, okay, and ugly. This season was a roller coaster. I rated this one lower than the previous season because there was a lot of time wasted on some uninteresting characters or some characters, by the time the season ended, were right back where they started and any character growth they experience meant nothing. Some story aspects were straight up just forgotten about. CK told me that there is a third season coming and that shit better be incredible every single episode to make up for this one. I almost don't care if it continues or not. It made the same mistake that Umbrella Academy did in its second season where I can only watch people fuck up with no progress for so long.

The Review: Doom Patrol S2E5

"Finger Patrol"

This is the problem with binge watching. I was about to write about episode seven and forgot I watched five and six. Rita heads to an audition and ends up finding out that it is about the day she turned into a blob monster and destroyed the town. Larry has to head to his dead sons place and help clean it out. Its a whole thing that goes very sideways later. Cliff and Vic go to visit Vic's...girlfriend. Seriously. This relationship is a terrible idea and not an interesting story at all which sucks because Vic surprisingly had a really good story last season. This isn't even a “Let's give him a lighthearted story this season!” situation. As much as I enjoy this show as soon as his girlfriend appears on the scream I go “Ugh...” because that means I have to watch the same conversation happen again.

The Review: The Boys S2E3

"Over The Hill With The Swords Of A Thousand Men"

Homelander is scary. I have discovered that nothing is scarier than Homelander being at your kitchen table with no intention of leaving. This bastard is pretending that he knows how to be people and hanging out at Becca's place and trying to be a family. She wants absolutely none of it. He brings his son Ryan onto the roof and tells him to jump. Ryan is like “I can't fly, dad” and Homelander is like “Aw, you called me dad.” Then he shoves him off the roof. Becca rushes out and it turns out Ryan is fine. Homelander says of course because he is his son. Becca goes off on Homelander and he grabs her wrist. Ryna shoves him to the ground and his eyes laser up! Becca takes him inside and Homelander's weird ass if all proud.

The Review: Raised By Wolves S1E2

"Pentagram"

This strange ass show continues to stay strange. This starts with Marcus who was one of the religious dudes that arrived last episode and didn't get blown up. It is Boston, 2145, and shit is wild. There are androids that are in full attack mode looking like Mother just leveling things. He and this lady find an android that can perform surgery and they get this crazy two day face swaps to look like two people that are going to be aboard the ship leaving Earth. They find the real couple and kill them and also find out that they have to pretend to be the parents of a young boy who happens to be one of the survivors that Mother brought back to the planet.

The Review: The Boys S2E2

"Proper Preparation and Planning"

I have completed the first three episodes of The Boys that have been released and am so damned happy they didn't put them all out at once since I am re-watching season one with CK and letting her know when not to look at the screen. This show graphic as fuck but I still want her to be able to enjoy it because the acting, story, and style of the show is incredible. Butcher heads to Raynor's funeral (she got her head blown up) and meets with Grace. She is the lady that recruited him and sent him after Homelander and told him what happened to Becca his wife. She tells Butcher that if he can bring in the loose super terrorist that she can tell him where Becca is. He tries to recall where he was when he saw her at the house with a kid and can't recall much.

The Review: Raised By Wolves S1E1

"Raised By Wolves"

Full of spoilers. When I saw the trailer for this I knew it was gonna be nutty as hell. Oh, my body was not ready for the amount of “What the fuck?!” that this show contains. I said “Huh?” and “The hell...?” a lot during the hour. In the future a group of folks that didn't believe in god and some sun worshiping ones that hardcore do got into a fight. Everyone suffered because of it. The not religious people sends this ship with two androids and a dozen embryos on a ship to restart humanity without all that religious shit. The androids are Mother and Father. Father sticks these plugs into Mother and she grows the embryos in these ice tray looking things and he pulls out the babies later. One of them is dead but Mother starts humming to it and actually crying and it comes back to life. Father looks puzzled by her tears. This is just the first sign that shit is squirrely.

The Review: The Boys S2E1

"The Big Ride"

Last night I watched the first episode of the new season of The Boys. They released three of them but I am not trying to plow through since there are so many other good shows to watch right now and I am rationing shit out. I loved the first season of this and was way to excited when I found out the second would be coming out so soon. This picks up right after the previous season which I liked because I was dreading a massive flash forward. It begins with Black Noir in the middle east going after that super powered terrorist that can blow himself up but not die. It is one of the most gruesome ass scenes but I was here for it. People get throats cut, faces pulled apart, just everything. It was also more of him fighting than last season combined. He takes the guys head with him and plays with a bunny with a child. Its weird.

Dante Watches Double Dragon

Double Dragon 3/10

I watched the 1994 movie Double Dragon. It was bad. I liked the video games. Not this movie. Not sure why it was made or who it was made for. I enjoyed looking at Alyssa Milano. She looked great in this. Dude from Party Of Five is annoying. The other dude is not as annoying and actually knows how to fight. T-1000 is the villain. He turns into shadow paper. Its wack.

Scott Wolf as Billy Lee

Mark Dacascos as Jimmy Lee

Alyssa Milano as Marian Delario

Robert Patrick as Koga Shuko/Victor Guisman

Julia Nickson as Satori Imada

Leon Russom as Chief Delario

Kristina Wagner as Linda Lash

Nils Allen Stewart as Bo Abobo

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