Theater Whore: Iron Man 3

It took me forever to do it but I finally got around to seeing Iron Man 3 starring Robert Downey Jr. And boy was I disappointed. I have really liked the previous Iron man movies, even part two which a lot of people shit on. I was looking forward to this one for so many reasons and each of those reasons was kind of dashed away. I knew Downey would be good as Tony Stark/Iron Man. That wasn’t my worry at all. I was looking forward to the villain, seeing a bunch of Iron Man suits wrecking things, and hopefully a cameo from one of The Avengers. 

The movie is about Stark being mentally fucked after his short trip through that wormhole at the end of Avengers. He cant sleep and it is affecting his behavior. Guy Pearce shows up and he’d met Stark years ago and since then looks all swarthy and getting cozy with Gwenyth Paltrow’s Pepper Parks. Pearce was pretty much Sam Rockwell with more screen time. I just saw this movie and am having trouble trying to figure out the order of things. It is all jumbled which makes sense because that is how this movie was. 

Theater Whore: Lawless

The world knows that I hate Shia LaBeouf. This isn’t, like, some secret that I’ve been keeping deep inside. Talk to me for five minutes and you’ll know that I hate this guy, possums, love red draws, and I have amazing legs. So given all that, I was hesitant to see Lawless fearing Shia would stink up the joint. Boy, I was surprised at the fact that I didn’t hate his guts, but this was one of the best movies I’ve seen this year. Don’t let the ads and poster fool you. This film is not about gangsters.

The story is about three of the Bondurant brothers who run moonshine. They are bootleggers in Virginia during Prohibition who are known for being the best at what they do. Shia is Jack Bondurant who is the youngest brother with huge ambitions that his cowardly ass behavior cant live up to. Jason Clarke is Howard Bondurant who is the closest to normal brother but when he loses his shit he really loses his shit! And finally there is Tom fucking Hardy as Forrest Bondurant who is the one who runs everything and is known to be immortal. Apparently there have been multiple instances where he should’ve been killed but survived.

Theater Whore: Lockout

I had heard about this movie Lockout starring Guy Pearce about a dude that gets convicted for a murder that he didn’t commit only to be asked to save the President’s daughter played by Maggie Grace aka The Dumb Daughter From Taken. Before you see this movie remember that logic has no place here. You hear people say “Check your brain at the door.” That is a very fitting assessment of this movie.