Theater Whore: La La Land

La La Land 10/10

I got to see La La Land with Cam at the Arclight over on Sunset and I have to say that this movie made me all kinds of happy! Just pure happy! This is why movies are made and why I go to see them. I love when a movie makes me feel something strongly whether its joy, excitement, or laughter. I'm not into being sad. I know. Weird, right? Cam says she would for sure call this movie a musical while I think its just the way older films were made where all of a sudden people would just start dancing and singing to express how they feel. Hell, I do it with Cam and my cousin Jasmine. I'll just make up songs or dance like an ass because I am excited or on a food high which strikes just before getting the “itis.” If this movie doesn't cheer you up maybe you shouldn't have come right after a funeral.

Theater Whore: Birdman

Birdman 10/10

There will be some spoilers so if you hate that kinda thing why are you reading a movie review? Don't be weird. I was trying to figure out if I should give this a 9 or a 10. If I say a movie is a 10 that means that I left the theater feeling happy that films exist. After seeing Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) this morning I could not think of one reason why not to give it a 10 and realize that this was one of the strangest and original films I've seen. I wasn't sure of what to expect from this exactly. An action film about a washed up superhero trying to recapture his glory? Yeah. That's what I thought it would be about.

It wasn't.

Theater Whore: The Amazing Spiderman 2

The Amazing Spiderman 2: 1/10

So how about that The Amazing Spiderman 2, huh? Now, I did not like the first film (click here). I thought that Andrew Garfield was a huge dick as Peter Parker, Emma Stone as Gwen Stacy was just...there, and The Lizard as the villain would have been a cool choice if this was the older films since we'd seen Dr. Conner as Peter's cool teacher. But this isn't about the shitty first film. This is about the shittier new one. And, by god, was it shitty! I'm not even sure where to start. The video game special effects? The horrible soundtrack? The premises for every villain being thinner than toilet paper from the 80's?

And there will be so many spoilers.

Theater Whore: Gangster Squad

I am listening to a review for Gangster Squad as I am writing this and I am wondering if they were in a bad mood when they saw this or even saw it. I’m not a movie critic. I’m just a dude that likes seeing movies and writing about them. I never wanna be at the point where I overanalyze the shit out of a movie and cant just enjoy it the way these guys at Spill are. Its as if they watched it writing down jokes just to use later and that’s a disservice for people who like their reviews and value their opinion. Enough about them!

I saw this with East over at the Arclight last night and I loved this movie. Let me just get that out of the way. It was more than I expected and had a lot of actors that I didn’t know were in it. I intentionally didn’t read up about this, choosing to go in blind. This is the story of a team of cops that are brought together by Josh Brolin to take down a Chicago gangster played by Sean Penn that is ruining the city. Nick Nolte plays the police chief that assigns Brolin the task of doing this though his wife is the one that tells him that he needs less clean cut cops.

FAP FILES: Emma Stone

There are some guys out there that don’t find Emma Stone hot. And I say to them “I’ll see you at the next Pride rally!” Seriously, how can you not like this girl? She is a natural blond but dyes her hair red (much like previous Fap Filer Christina Hendricks). I first noticed her in Superbad and was like “Wow, she sounds like she puts away three packs a day! Sexy!” Yeah, I love girls that smoke. As far as I know she doesn’t smoke but she does have what is called a husky voice. Is husky the right word? Whatever. Who cares what her voice sounds like? She is in a movie that has been number one for weeks. Actually it went from being number two to number one! That is how magical this girl is! You try and deny the power of The Stone. I dare you.