"Bad Ass Mofo": Jet Li

Every time there is a martial artist that is Asian and makes it big in America everyone keeps on trying to compare them to Bruce Lee. The problem is that you cant compare him to someone like this weeks Bad Ass Mofo because he is too damned awesome to describe. Of course I am talking about Jet Li!

Inappropriate!

Li started doing shit that would make me pass out from exhaustion when he was 8 years old and has continued since. Now, I started off watching his American films like Romeo Must Die which if you've seen recently makes you kinda cringe because he was like in his 30's and hooking up with this teenager. If I were her dad I would have wanted his ass killed too! Sure, I would have been beaten so bad that they wouldn't have been able to identify me except by fingerprinting but still. He was way too old for Aaliyah.

TV Slut: 23 Days Of Fear

Last week Cam and I went to see that movie based off of the 2002 D.C Sniper shootings called Blue Caprice. As the days have gone by she and I have talked about that film and we have come to the conclusion that it sucks. Its the fact that it was inspired and not based on the facts and it also seemed to be afraid to touch on the real situations that occurred. So I checked online for other movies based off the shootings and found D.C Sniper: 23 Days of Fear which aired on the USA Network back in 2003 not that far after the real shootings transpired.

This is mostly going to be me comparing the first film with this one. I laughed at the fact that this movie made ten years ago got it right and the one made now shit the bed. Even the actors looked more like the real guys. John Allen Muhammad (not just JOHN!) is played by Bobby Hosea and Lee Boyd Malvo was played by Trent Cameron. They do touch on the fact that John Allen was Muslim which I said out loud “Thank you, movie!” for.

Ross Radio Show 154

In this episode I play four songs from four different artists. Hall & Oates Out Of Touch, I Cant Go For That, Rich Girl, and Private Eyes. Peter Gabriel Solsbury Hill, Sledgehammer, Big Time, and Steam. Billy Joel Movin' Out, My Life, Uptown Girl, and Piano Man. Phil Collins, In The Air Tonight, Something Happened On The Way To Heaven, Easy Lover, and Take Me Home. Click here to download this and previous Ross Radio Shows. 

Theater Whore: Blue Caprice

Based on. What does that mean? I know what inspired by means. It means you can get away with a lot of things that didn't happen for real like in all of those exorcism films. Most of them are based off of one story that may have happened and then you can go bananas making the rest of it up. That is what Blue Caprice is though the poster says based on. Me and Cam saw this and after we left we were just puzzled and I asked myself for the hundredth time “Why was this made?”

Back in 2002 there was the DC Sniper attacks. If you don't remember that then you are probably too young or you just don't give a damn about murders and attacks happening in your own country. This movie is about that. Tequan Richmond plays a kid named Lee that lives in the islands. One day his mother leaves and never comes back. He wanders around hungry and starts following a man and his children.

Nothing But Gossip September 19th 2013

Ty Warner, the guy who created Beanie Babies owes 53.5 million for tax evasion. Goddamn!!! Remember when everyone was beating the fuck out of each other for those and then they retired them all at the same time effectively making them worthless? I do. Hahaha!

Tami Erin, the chick who played in the shitty version of Pippi Longstocking in the 80's, has decided to release her sex tape herself after a former boyfriend was shopping it around. I expected her to do this and said that she should on my West Hollywood Life blog but I am calling bullshit on her. She planned this all along. Where is that Punky Brewster porn I've been waiting decades for?!

Terrence Howard has agreed to stay away from his ex wife for the next three years because apparently beating her ass is like masturbating and potato chips. You cant do it once.

Ross Radio Show 153

In this fourth KROQ of the 90's themed episode I play Material Issue Valerie Loves Me, Soul Asylum Misery, Gin Blossoms Hey Jealousy, 311 Down, Filter Hey Man Nice Shot, Nine Inch Nails Head Like A Hole, Gravity Kills Guilty, Radiohead Idioteque, Smashing Pumpkins Zero, Sponge Wax Exstatic, Live Pillar Of Davidson, Candlebox You, Cake Short Skirt Long Jacket, Mxpx Chick Magnet, White Town Your Woman, Rancid Red Hot Moon, Save Ferris The World Is New, Goldfinger Counting The Days, The Prodigy Breathe, Pennywise Alien, and The Descendents I'm The One. Click here for this and previous Ross Radio Shows.  

Theater Whore: You're Next

This film starts off with folks fucking. Oh. Spoilers. This year has been pretty shitty in terms of movies. The ones I have looked forward to the most have stunk and the ones I didn't expect much out of turned out to be quite entertaining. This movie, You're Next, was one that I figured is like most horror movies made nowadays. Everyone is hateable (not a real word) and when people die I don't care because I have Asperger's. While almost everyone are people you wouldn't mind seeing die the main character Erin played by Sharni Vinson really saves this from being a terrible movie.

The couple that was fucking at the start are brutally murdered by some weirdo wearing a lamb mask which is the new sign for its time to get the fuck out of Dodge and writes “You're Next” in blood. Meaning nearby this guy Crispian invites his girlfriend to come visit his rich ass family that of course live in the middle of nowhere. She gets there and everyone is very unlikable. The whole family bickers and fights and she is just stuck there. Earlier the mother thought she heard someone upstairs but you can tell that she is one of those people you just kinda deal with and not really listen to what they say.

Neo Nerd Rage: Robocop Reboot

"In 2028, multinational conglomerate OmniCorp is at the center of robot technology. Their drones are winning wars around the globe and now they want to bring this technology to the home front. Alex Murphy is a loving husband, father and honest cop doing his best to fight crime and corruption in Detroit. After he is critically injured by a car bomb outside his home, OmniCorp utilize their knowledge in robotics to save Murphy's life. Murphy returns to the streets of his city with new abilities and issues a regular man has never had to face before."

Everyone that doubted the new Robocop movie can suck a fat one! The trailer alone is better than each of the three movies. Yes, there were three. Have you seen them? No. You think you have but you totally didn't. The first one was cool...in theory. Rewatch that movie and tell me it is great. Its okay. The idea of Robocop is awesome. Dude gets slaughtered and is brought back as a half robot that looks far more terrifying when his helmet is removed.

Theater Whore: Elysium

The year is 2154 and everyone...is covered in filth! I mean everyone on Earth. Up in space shit is immaculate. In space no matter what booty cootie you have there are machines that will heal it. Could you imagine the level of strange sex you'd have if you could get healed that same say? I am so off topic. I finally saw Elysium and after watching it I have decided that this would have played out much better as a series and not a film.

This movie is about a lot of things. Social classes, the haves and the barely haves, technology, and dirty folks. They aren't on the level of Dirt People but they are very close. Matt Damon is an ex con that is trying to live his filthy life and likes this chick that has a daughter that is dying. He doesn't know that though. I'm not even sure he knows she has a kid. He gets fucked up at work after already getting his arm broken by the robot cops earlier. He is told that he has five days to live. Oh, and he gets bionic implants. Yay?

Nothing But Gossip September 7th 2013

Lamar Odom's crack addiction was so bad that his dealer cut him off. How bad do you have to be at crackheading to have your dealer cut your ass off? As you can tell, he is not in rehab. Khloe Kardashian still has not filed for divorce because that would not be good for ratings.

Mel Gibson was stopped at a DUI checkpoint and...nothing happened.

A woman named Elizabeth Diane Pahlke has been charged with stalking John Cusack. Really? Hey. 1985 called. It says you're late.

Despite being separated Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones are still married. I don't see how they could be after he blamed her vagina for causing his cancer.

Theater Whore: The World's End

The World's End is one of those movies where as soon as its finished you have to see it again. The first half is almost like a totally different film than how it is. Actually, its not almost. It is. It starts off with Gary King played by Simon Pegg realizing while he is in a support group that the best night of his life when he and his group of friends did not complete a pub crawl called The Golden Mile. He decides that he is going to contact all of his friends and relive it but completing it this time.

He tracks down his friends that he has not seen in decades. Gary Peter Page is played by Eddie Marsan, Oliver "O-Man" Chamberlain played by Martin Freeman, Steven Prince is played by Paddy Considine, and Andy Knightley is portrayed by Nick Frost. He convinces them to come along as they head to their old town. All of his friends have moved on with their lives and have wives, kids, or jobs. King has not changed at all and they don't like it.

Demand It!: Hell Baby

Sometimes I read movie reviews and I just say to myself “These people are some miserable ass mofos.” There are movies where I know what I'm getting into before I get started and that is my way of signing off to nonsense. This movie, Hell Baby, was a giant ball of entertaining nonsense. Just look at the damned poster. If that isn't some kinda tip that this is gonna be out there look at the work of writers/directors Robert Ben Garant and Thomas Lennon. They have worked on Balls Of Fury, Reno 911, Night At The Museum, and Taxi (which even they admit is terrible).

This movie is silly as fuck. I mean that in the best way possible. Its very silly, parts made me laugh, some made me laugh then stop laughing, then start laughing all over again, and there were genuine jump scares which even actual horrors films don't make me experience. This movie had moments where you would get into jump scare overload and then get used to it and laugh and suddenly get scared again! At one point someone actually screams “I am tired of being startled!”

Ross Radio Show 152

In this episode I felt like playing just some good dancing music. Mostly dancing. I play some Mariah Carey ft. O.D.B Fantasy, Ginuwine Pony, Robin Thicke When I Get You Alone, SWV ft. Wu Tang Clan Anything, Total ft. Notorious BIG Can't You See, Guy I Like, Janet Jackson ft. Blackstreet I Get Lonely, Jodeci Come And Talk To Me, and Ghost Town DJ's My Boo. Click here to download this and previous Ross Radio Shows. 

DVDiculous: GI Joe Retaliation

I decided to watch GI Joe: Retaliation because I don't even know. I have no real explanation as to why I decided to watch this. I saw the first one and it was quite terrible but I hoped that with Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and Channing Tatum who I now like in films (sometimes) this would be better. It wasn't. Its funny because I tend to like films where things explode but I tend to get upset when they try and have a plot that's complicated when it doesn't need to be.

On one side you have Roadblock and Duke, Johnson and Tatum, who are making explosions, running from explosions, and playing video games with explosions. Shit you not, they show them sitting at home paying videos games. Because I don't know about the rest of you, but when I think of a blockbuster film with action, I think of watching them play video games. Duke ends up getting killed in an explosion and I didn't care. Roadblock gets all revenge mode meaning doing shit that goes against everything he tells others.