The Review: Love Jones

Love Jones 7/10

I liked Love Jones. This is a continuing series that L. has started getting me to watch famous and well known Black movies that I managed to hear of but never see. This is about this photographer lady (a paying gig only in movies) named Nina who recently split from her fiance and this dude named Darius who does spoken word poetry that gets lady draws wet. He meets Nina right before he goes on stage and does a poem in her name. She don't want him after her last relationship ended so badly but this dude is persistent. Like, scary persistent. He spots her at his friends record store and gets her address and phone number from a check she used to pay for some CD's. He just shows up at her place. Its creepy. They go on a date and bone down but both are playing it off like its not serious to their friends. Darius is a ladies man and seems afraid to admit he likes Nina as much as he does. Oh, I forgot to mention at one point Nina starts seeing Darius' friend Hollywood who is a dick. He uses her to flaunt and rub it in Darius' face that he has her.

The Review: The Wood

The Wood 5/10

This was a weird ass movie. L. had me watch The Woods and it is the tale of a man getting married and chickening out and having to be dragged drunk, kicking, and screaming to marry a beautiful woman because he is under the impression that he and his friends can spend the rest of their lives having all the sex. It begins with the groom Roland missing. His friends Mike and Slim go hunting for him and find him drunk at an ex's place. The reminisce about how they met in junior high. Mike just moved to Inglewood from North Carolina and doesn't know things like what colors are okay to wear or even basic things like how to talk to humans. He falls for a girl named Alicia whose brother is a gang member named Stacey. One day his “friends” dare him to smack her ass for a dollar. He does. She hits him. Her brother later hits him. He gets respect.

The Review: Lupin Season 2

Lupin Season Two 4/10

I enjoyed the first season of Lupin more but what I once thought was clever became annoying. Netflix is starting to do this thing where they run a series into the ground using what makes it cute. It would be like telling someone you like a shirt they wear so they put on three at once. They did this with Who Killed Sara? as well. The cliffhangers went from “I can't wait to see what happens next!” to knowing that they were being predictable. With Lupin he does things that seem impossible and then they show a flashback showing how it was all done. That was cute last season. Now its a trope and annoying. I get him being smart an' shit but I realized that all of his plans depend on everyone around him being stupid.

The Review: Constantine City Of Demons

Constantine City Of Demons 6/10

This movie was fine. I was looking through HBO Max for all the animated DC movies I had not seen and started one and stopped it after two minutes because the art was so bad and found this one instead. I like Constantine as a character and animated films with him are pretty cool and easy to do. Wish his TV show hadn't started sucking. The story for this is that John Constantine is having crazy dreams and seeing this young girl whose soul he let get taken when he was a newbie. Also his inner demons escape. His friend Chas contacts him because his daughter is in a coma. John finds out that her soul is being held by this demon in Los Angeles so he has to go there, work for him, find out he is not who he says he is, and kinda ruin Chas' life to save his daughters. Its a very bittersweet story. I liked the voices, the animation, and the story for this. I'm still waiting for a live action version sequel.

Matt Ryan as John Constantine

Damian O'Hare as Chas Chandler

Laura Bailey as Asa the Healer/Nightmare Nurse, Trish Chandler

Emily O'Brien as Renee Chandler

Rachel Kimsey as The Queen of Angels Angela

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The Review: Loki S1E2/3

Loki Episode 2 “The Variant”

This damn show continues to be good! Loki is trying to weasel his way into meeting with the Time Keepers. He is still shook after seeing his fate at the hand of Thanos and having his mother killed by trying to have Thor killed. Loki figures out that the variant version of him that they are hunting hides in apocalypses because since shit is gonna end regardless no one will notice what it does because things are ending. 

He ends up finding out that the Variant is hiding in Alabama in 2050 during a terrible ass storm. Loki finds the Variant able to enchant people and move and speak through them. Loki ends up having his ass kicked by someone until the Variant reveals herself as a Loki. She sets off a bunch of charges through different points in time and teleports away. Mobius spots Loki who also runs through the door. This episode was cool and they continue to make this crazy ass show that seems to make no sense make sense each time.

The Review: Awake (2021)

Awake 1/10

This movie was big dumb. L. had watched this and couldn't figure out if the characters in this were so dumb because they were sleepy or bad writing. As someone who has gone through multiple bouts of pure insomnia my whole life I can say that this was pure bad writing from someone who watched Bird Box and maybe heard what insomnia was and said “I can do movies.” I should actually see who wrote this. Whoa. Dude wrote a lot of trash. Okay, so this is about this lady who has two kids that are estranged from her because she is a recovering addict. She is former military (which you'd never guess) and works at a lab of some sort. She also steals old pills and sells them to a drug dealer for money. She goes to pick up her kids. Teenage son who is 90's moody and little girl who is little girl.

The Review: How Stella Got Her Groove Back

How Stella Got Her Groove Back 5/10

Last on the list of Black films I managed to never see was How Stella Got Her Groove Back. Of course I had heard of this movie and knew what it was about through jokes and such over the years. This about Stella Payne. She works as a stockbroker and is a single mother that works too hard. That is it for her character development. One day she finally takes some time off and goes on vacation to Jamaica with her friend Delilah. Delilah has some men for them but Stella wants none of it. She immediately finds this guy named Winston Shakespeare. He sweeps her off her feet but she doesn't want to deal with him because she is 40 and he is 20. They go back and forth about their age difference and eventually he visits her and everything seems perfect. All kinds of drama happens like Delilah dying (which I knew was gonna happen). Stella loses her job. She begins to feel the age gap more and more. One of her sisters is an asshole who won't shut the fuck up and just go and be pregnant. Winston gets along with her friends and family but when Stella meets his mother she is like “I am 41 and you 40. The fuck you doing with my son?!” It gets to the point where Winston decides that he is going back home to study to become a doctor. He heads to the airport and everything. Suddenly as he is heading to his plane Stella shows up and accepts his proposal from earlier. I forgot to mention that. This movie was fine. I just wish Stella had a personality. I didn't see anything special about her other than her looks that would make someone leave their country and life behind for her. Unless you 20 and dumb.

The Review: Temptations

Temptations 6/10

Next movie on the list for me to watch was the NBC TV movie Temptations. I knew of one scene from this movie and loved the group but had no idea they went through so many different members and drama and health issues. I mean, damn! This movie had everything. Perms. Do wop. Drinking. Devil's dandruff. Arthritis. Alcohol abuse. Suicide. I enjoyed this movie but you could totally tell that this was written from one persons point of view. I was online looking at all the different band members and getting all into their personal business. As fucked up as they seemed at certain points during this three hour epic they were way worse in real life. If this had been on cable or made today it would be one of the messiest movies. I also didn't remember what the band members looked like it real life so I couldn't complain about no one looking like who they were playing. The music, of course, was the best part of this along with Ruffin's performance. I would watch an entire movie about this crazy bastard. It would be like if Ike Turner had his own movie. Even the way they show his death is so disrespectful. They just show him dumped out of a car dead in front of a hospital like “Byyyyye...” This was told and made by Otis so he gets the most screen time even though it seems like Blue was there a lot. Blue dies off screen after eating dinner and rolling out of the room.

The Review: Sparkle (1976)

Sparkle 8/10

L. decided that I have not watched enough well known Black films...and its true. I have seen a lot of movies but movies like Sparkle slipped through the cracks. I had heard of it and that En Vogue video imitating it made my voice change and my pants feel funny. So we watched it. I didn't know that it took place in the late 50's. This is about three sisters named Sparkle, Sister, and Delores that start a band with two other dudes named Stix and Levi. Levi leaves and the sisters do it on their own with Stix, like, managing. Sister is the star of the show but gets mixed up with this guy named Satin. There is nothing good about this man. He gets her on drugs and beats her. Eventually Sister ends up dead. Delores is ashamed that their mother is a maid even though she managed to raise them all on her own doing so. Sparkle falls in love with Stix who runs off and leaves her. Stix borrows some money to get Sparkle up and running and its great until he owes some money and is threatened with death to sign over Sparkle's career. This was a good movie with enough good music and story to make it not miserable like a lot of Black led movies tend to be. If you a late ass like me I would suggest checking this out.

The Review: In The Heights

In The Heights 9/10

This movie has been controversial. In case you're wondering I'm not gonna write about any of it considering I'm not really involved. I was invited to a great barbecue last weekend and me and a group of people watched this and had a lot of fun. I love musicals and this was very much that. The music was catchy and the dancing was incredible. It made me realize just how little stamina I have seeing as how I got winded just watching everyone perform. This is about a guy named Usnavi who is slowly watching his neighborhood lose all of its flavor and character. He is in love with a girl. There's another dude in love with a girl. There is dancing and singing. There is a lottery ticket. So much stuff. If you're into having a fun time for a couple of hours check this out on HBO Max.

Anthony Ramos as Usnavi de la Vega

Corey Hawkins as Benny

Leslie Grace as Nina Rosario

Melissa Barrera as Vanessa Morales

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The Review: The Nevers

The Nevers 8/10

This series is weird as hell and I like it. The Nevers came out once a week which was great because each episode had a good cliffhanger and spread out information in a way that made me confused yet intrigued. Not confused, mad, and not caring about what happened (looking at you Who Killed Sara?). This takes place in the late 1800's and how one day this ship of some kind floated over London and gave people (mostly women) super powers of various types. The two main characters are Amalia True who is a bad ass fighter and can see glimpses of the future. She uses these glimpses to either avoid danger or gather clues from what she sees. In later episodes we see who she truly is and how she got to this time period. Yes, time travel. The last episode is baffling for 80% of it until its not. The other character is Penance Adair who is an inventor and can “see” energy. She annoyed me.

The Review: Loki S1E1

Loki Episode 1 “Glorious Purpose”

This show is starting off really fucking cool. After WandaVision and Falcon And The Winter Soldier this show could not start off lame in any way and thankfully it delivered more than I was even expecting. It starts off right after Loki escapes with the Tesseract and lands in a desert only to be captured by the Time Variance Authority (TVA). He tries to act like his normal ass Loki self all confident and cocky only to be shown that at this place he ain't shit. By the way, this is old Avenger's movie Loki so he hasn't experienced any character growth. It isn't until he watches his alternate history of himself seeing him be the cause of his mothers death, Odin dying, and Thanos snapping his raggedy ass neck. He also finds a drawer full of Infinity Stones that are also being used as paper weights.

The Review: Sweet Tooth

Sweet Tooth 4/10

You ever watch a show and sigh and curse a lot but keep watching it because its not so bad you'll quit but its not good enough to tell people you like to watch it? That's Sweet Tooth. L. and I watched this recently when I was just looking for something to occupy some time. It is about a virus that everyone is afraid of getting because these blue flowers start showing up and they die and kids are being born as hybrids of an animal. The main character is Gus who is half a deer which is a lame ass thing to be half of if you ask me. This kid caused me to curse way more than almost any other show I've seen. Everything he does that he shouldn't puts lives at risk. Okay. I am getting ahead of myself.

The Review: Tenet

Tenet 1/10

I legit couldn't tell you what this movie was about. I wanted to see Tenet in theaters after seeing the trailer last year. I was hype as shit for this movie. But as the year dragged on and it kept being pushed back I lost interest. It came out on HBO Max and I still waited to check it out until a couple of days ago. It starts off action packed and that was cool...for a few minutes. That is something in this movie I noticed. The action goes on way too long and sometimes is shown twice in rewind. I'm not gonna get into the plot of this because it made no sense to me. I wasn't interested in any of the characters or whether or not this reality or the backwards one survived by the time this ended. I'm glad I didn't see this in theaters, though. I pictured me sitting there making no sound and just watching things happen on the screen. Lots of things happened but they are either confusing or uninteresting. Halfway through and a lot of things weren't clear to me and it made me question whether or not I was paying attention. I was. It was just that the story was unfolding in a way that had me waiting for answers and when I got them I either didn't care or it still made no sense. I couldn't suggest this to anyone. I didn't give it a 0/10 because I finished it and it looked good. The sound was trash though. I don't know what the fuck happened to this movie.

John David Washington as the Protagonist

Robert Pattinson as Neil

Elizabeth Debicki as Katherine “Kat” Barton

Michael Caine as Sir Michael Crosby

Kenneth Branagh as Andrei Sator

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The Review: Army of The Dead

Army of The Dead 2/10

Spoilers. This won't be long. Army of The Dead would have been cooler or seemed cooler maybe ten years ago. Its a simple story that has a large cast where everyone is exactly who and what you think they are upon meeting them. I thought there would be maybe four people on the team but it ballooned and I knew who was gonna die based on their characteristics. Oh, right. The story. Military trucks crashes because some dude was getting some road head and military dudes weren't paying attention. Zombie loose. Zombie bites people. Las Vegas gets overrun and closed off. Government wants to nuke it. Guy hires team to get millions from vault. Zombies have a leader. There is a tiger zombie. Movies ends how I thought and then doubles down on it. I just shrugged when it was over. The music was cool. I will say that. The original songs and remakes. The movie itself looked weird. Not quite like a movie and not quite like a TV show. I like zombie shit. Just not this.

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