Friday, October 10, 2014

You Had One Job: Marvel's Beast In Film

You know what's always bugged me? The way Beast was handled in the X-Men films. When those Origin films came out it was the perfect chance to clear up the mess they had made out of the other films. Admit it. The X-Men films have been pretty shitty. Don't let the fact that a couple of scenes were cool fool you. They have been bad.

Pictured up there is Beast as he originally appeared in the Marvel comics. He was a strangely built guy with agility. He later got the blue fur that we've grown accustomed to and has been that way ever since except for that time where he was drawn looking more like a kitty cat. The Beast that I am most comfortable with is the one from the animated series. He was the one I'd seen the longest and had the perfect voice for the character.

When the first X-Men film came out it was strange that they didn't have him in it. I guess they used the budget on voice coaching for Halle Berry. But when I saw the movie it turns out that a pre-Beast Dr. Hank McCoy was in the film. It is during the scene where Wolverine is in the bar right before he meets Rogue. Beast pops up on the screen cock teasing us.

Wait. What?

Next we get X2 and X-Men: The Last Stand where Beast is just...there. He's a part of the team with absolutely no explanation of how he got from being that normal guy in the first film to this freakshow that is around the students. He's just here now. Accept it. Okay, fine. I like Kelsey Grammer and he is perfect for the role. I'll allow it. Yeah, they made him a glorified pilot but whatever.

In the film the team is dealing with mutant haters and there is a mutant named Leech that can cancel out mutant powers. Beast gets near him and his hand turns normal and he is all like “Whoa. This is awesome. I've not seen my normal hand before!” Yeah, ya kinda did. In the first film! Goddamn it! I tried to forget but you just brought it all back to my attention!

Okay, fine. These films are done. It is time for a new set of X-Men films where they can clean up this mess. Beast is young now In X-Men: Origins and played by Nicholas Hoult. Now they can explain why Beast was normal, then not, then shocked there is some sort of mutant cure.

In this Beast has agility and feet that would make you assume he dick is where Juggernaut got his name from. So far they are on the right path until he takes a potion that turns him into a monster. Now he is even more upset but thankfully he is even faster and stronger than he was before.

Oh, but wait...

There is a cure! This asshole somehow made a potion that can stop Professor Xavier from even having his powers. He also has the ability to change from Beast to a normal guy whenever he feels like it. Okay, so wait. Did he have the cure and lose it by the time the second movie came out? Or did that not happen because of the time travel shit from X-Men: Days Of Future Past?

Hey, girl.

As far as I can tell he made a cure, it made things worse, he finally figured out how to stop it, he was later not listed as a mutant, then he returned and was a mutant and stayed that way. I don't like it. Shit's way too confusing and now I wish they hadn't even put him in the films. 

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