Theater Whore: X-Men Days Of Future Past

X-Men Days Of Future Past 4/10

The funny thing about this movie is that the more I talk about it the more I dislike it. By the time I'm done I may even drop it lower (its currently at a 4/10 for me). I had heard a lot of good things about this movie from people who are fans of comic book films. I tried not to let that influence me too much. I wasn't even too excited to see this because of how bad that last Wolverine movie was so damned bad and X-Men Origins: First Class being good only when Michael Fassbender was on screen.

What's cool is that since there have been a total of seven films in this X-Men universe I have absolutely no need to bring up the comic books. So when I sit here and point out all of the inconsistencies that happen in this film that correlate with the other six its fine. Right?

Nope.

There will be tons of spoilers.

Theater Whore: God's Pocket

God's Pocket 2/10

Death Becomes Her. American Psycho. Dr. Strangelove. These are dark comedies. I had no idea that the second film Cam and I saw for the night called God's Pocket was supposed to be one as well. After I found out that it was considered one my reaction was “Oh? Oh...okay. I guess I could see that. Kinda.” When a movie starts off with a sad ass looking funeral without a hint that something funny could even happen its hard to jump to that conclusion. This movie had a very strong cast including Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Christina Hendricks, John Turturro, Richard Jenkins, and Eddie Marsan. A lot of good people just wasted in this.

Since I couldn't laugh at this movie I had to watch it as a film that felt as if it didn't know where it needed to go. You see a couple that has uncomfortable looking sex followed by waking their drug using son up for work. He gets there, drops some n-bombs, and gets his punk ass killed by an old Black man. The crime is covered up and funeral plans are made. His mother (Hendricks) thinks that something else had to have happened since she thinks her son was a good kid. The step-father (Hoffman) and his friend (Turturro) have side scams that they are running. Money needs to be made to pay off bad men and for the kids funeral.

Theater Whore: Fading Gigolo

Fading Gigolo 10/10

Last night Cam and I caught a double feature. The first film we saw was Fading Gigolo starring John Turturro and Woody Allen. Also in this were Liev Schreiber, Sharon Stone, Vanessa Paradis, and Sofia Vergara. Going into this I wasn't exactly sure what to expect and by god was I surprised at how much I loved this movie. Turturro wrote starred in, and directed this. I thought from what little I'd heard that this was about a guy who used to be a lady's man who was older and trying to get back into it. That isn't what this is about.

Turturro is Fioravante. He's a handyman, florist, and just an all around quiet, nice guy. He works with Allen who is named Murray. They have been friends for years and as Murray's book store is closing he proposes the idea of sleeping with a lady he knows for money. At first Fioravante is against it saying that he isn't a hoe. After finding out how much he'll get he decides to give it a shot. It is a test drive for a planned three-way between Dr. Parker and Selima (Stone, Vergara). He does it and everything goes smoothly. So smoothly that they start a business from it. Eventually Murray finds a client who is a widow with six children named Avigal (Paradis). A patrolman of the small Jewish neighborhood named Dovi (Schreiber) who has a thing for her tails her to Fioravante's “office” where he plans on giving her a massage. It goes horribly wrong. I now that Murray had good intentions but she ends up crying though not for the reasons I expected.

Ross Radio Show 165

In this episode I felt like hearing a lot of Chris Cornell from Soundgarden, Audioslave, and his solo work. I play my favorite songs including Soundgarden Rusty Cage, Spoonman, Superunknown, Jesus Christ Pose, Limo Wreck, The Day I Tried To Live, Mind Riot, No Attention, Bleed Together, Face Pollution, Never Machine Forever, Chris Cornell Billie Jean, Sunshower, Can't Change Me, Audioslave Shadow On The Sun, Be Yourself, Cochise, Like A Stone, Show Me How To Live, and Soundgarden Been Away Too Long. Click here to download this and past Ross Radio Shows. 

Nothing But Gossip May 19th 2014

Lindsay Lohan had a lawsuit thrown out that would have made her have to swear under oath that she had indeed had a miscarriage. Many, including me, still don't believe her. Which one of us is the worst person in this situation?

Kate Major, the woman who gave birth to the kid of Michael Lohan, is heading to jail for probation violation for being a drunkard. She was on probation for being drunk and fighting a cop. Good times.

Someone tried to break into V. Stiviano's home. I am so tired of this women. Its like, thanks for recording Donald Sterling because he's a racist asshole, but sit your strange looking ass at home and stop talking.

Jay Z, Beyonce, and “The Elevator Crusader” Solange are all doing great and hanging out again! They released a joint statement. “Jay and Solange each assume their share of responsibility for what has occurred. They both acknowledge their role in this private matter that has played out in the public. They both have apologized to each other and we have moved forward as a united family. The reports of Solange being intoxicated or displaying erratic behavior throughout that evening are simply false. At the end of the day families have problems and we're no different. We love each other and above all we are family. We've put this behind us and hope everyone else will do the same.”

Robin Thicke spent the awards last night trying to get his wife, Paula Patton back. Stop it! You fucked around on her very publicly and she sobered up for ten minutes and realized that the world was laughing at her. Just move on, dude. Do you like your dad and marry a chick that is 30 years younger. Wait. Don't. She's be in elementary school.

Theater Whore: Godzilla

Godzilla 8/10

When I heard that there was a Godzilla movie coming out I had a few things that I really wanted to happen in it. To me Godzilla is one of those characters that is a great idea but happens to be in films I don't like that much. Other examples of this are RoboCop (until the latest film), Batman (until the Christian Bale ones), and Superman. For me to leave the theater happy Godzilla had to look cool. I had to care about the human side of the story because in all the other films it usually boiled down tome going “Okay, where are the monsters punching each other?” because of weak characters. And lastly, his damned spine needed to light up.

Oh, there will be spoilers by the way.

I am happy to say that this movie accomplished these three goals! Me and my cousin Mala went to the Arclight on Sunset to check this out. We both made sure not to watch the 3D version because fuck that. Those things are too heavy and I already wear glasses. Double glasses are for window lickers. The movie starts off showing all the different nuclear bombs we have tested and used and it makes me wonder how this planet is still around. We're insane. 

15 years ago in 1999 Joe Brody played by Bryan Cranston head to work at a nuclear facility while their son stays at home. Joe is trying to warn people that shit is bad but of course no one really pays attention until the plant explodes. After sending his wife to go check some stuff out he has to watch her get trapped and die from radiation. The rest of his life is spent having the guilties and trying to find out the truth.

DVDiculous: JLA Adventures Trapped In Time

Time travel is always an iffy topic to base a story around. This movie JLA Adventures Trapped In Time proved it because even as I watched it happening I just kept thinking “See, now that they did this that is going to happen and now he doesn't exist because she saw this...” and then my head starts to spin and I don't care anymore. The Legion Of Doom have a plan to make more ice on Earth so when it melts coastlines will flood. This is Lex Luthor's plan and he is in full 1970's super villain mode because this is a stupid plan.

This Justice League show up and they end up fighting them on land and even in space. I was confused as to which Robin was teaming with Batman (whose voice is played by a different actor and he sounds Black) because he appeared to be a young Dick Grayson but acted like Jason Todd but was probably Tim Drake. Either way the JL win after Captain Cold is like “Fuck everything!” and blasts the planet with one super strong beam of ice. Luthor is believed to be dead and Superman pouts instead of being like “Good! Party at the Fortress of Solitude!” Meanwhile in the future...

Theater Whore: Neighbors

Neighbors 7/10

I trust Seth Rogen. Whenever I hear an interview with him promoting a movie and he says that his movie is funny I believe him. The trailer for this movie really needs to be done over again because it seems to be aiming for Rogen's normal crowd which will enjoy this movie but I think that if you are one of those people that say you don't like his movies or think it'll be too crass for you that you should give it a shot. Its actually very funny. Just the scene where they try to have sex but can't because the baby is watching made me crack up.

With this movie Neighbors it seems like there is a lot working against it. It is starring Rogen as Mac Radner. Rose Byrne as his wife Kelly who you have seen in movies but might not really know who she is. Zac Efron as Teddy Sanders who I can say that I've never watched a movie with him in it. He is described physically as “something a team of gay guys built in a machine.” Dave Franco stars as Pete Regazolli. Mac and Kelly are new parents who are having a hard time adjusting to no longer being able to leave the house and have fun and being parents. There's a funny scene where they are invited to a rave and fall asleep just getting the daughter ready to leave the house.

Deontay Wilder Makes Me Like Boxing Again

Last year was when I first heard of this boxer named Deontay Wilder aka The Bronze Bomber. Holy shit this guy is entertaining! At the time I found out about him he was already 27-0. He is currently 31-0. What I like about him is that he reminds me of heavyweight boxers from back in the day. He is not being paid by the round. He just goes out there and mangles guys. You hear people say that you never know how good someone is until they are tested into the middle to later rounds. Check out Mike Tyson versus Mitch Greene. Wilder is a throwback to when I would get excited seeing a fighter get into the ring that was over 210lbs.

At the age of 28 Wilder has quite a ways to go. Sadly I can't think of any other heavyweight that is worth a shit for him to fight. Here we have this big monster that only has tomato cans to beat up. And, my god, does he beat them up. You can watch compilations of him knocking out twenty-something of the guys he has fought. That's another thing. All of his fights have been won by knockout. When he puts someone on their ass I just say “Please stay down. Think of your family!” I am looking at Wilder to single-handedly bring back the heavyweight division in boxing. I know that's a lot to put on one man, but damn it, I really want to get back into boxing. Recently he “fought” a guy that was talking shit online. It's pretty damned funny or sad depending on how you look at it.  

Nothing But Gossip May 7th 2014

The-Dream has turned himself in to New York police after a warrant was issued for his arrest after he beat the shit out of his then pregnant girlfriend, Lydia Nam. He is being charged with two felonies and three misdemeanors. Jackass.

The guy who got his ass beat by Chris Brown and his security guard Christopher Hollosy has released pictures of his face after he was attacked for photobombing. His name is Parker Adams. Brown has been in jail for almost two months now after violating his probation for kicking Rihanna's ass. 

V. Stiviano who is the whistle blower on the whole racist Donald Sterling drama has a history of arrests. She is also being investigated for extortion after Sterling said during an interview “I wish I had just paid her off.” See, this is the problem when you become well known: people start looking into your past. Check this shit out.

Ross Radio Quickie Show 13

In this episode I decided to try something different. I used original songs and combined them with hip hop songs that sampled from them. I play The Isley Brothers/Perfeck Strangers Work To Do, The Isley Brothers Between The Sheets/Notorious BIG Big Poppa/Ice Cube Today Was A Good Day, Betty Wright Tonight Is The Night/Candyman Knockin' Boots, Alicia Myers/Busta Rhymes & Q Tip Thank You, and Fosters Sylvers Misdemeanor/The D.O.C It's Funky Enough. Click here for this and past Ross Radio Quickie Shows. 

Theater Whore: The Amazing Spiderman 2

The Amazing Spiderman 2: 1/10

So how about that The Amazing Spiderman 2, huh? Now, I did not like the first film (click here). I thought that Andrew Garfield was a huge dick as Peter Parker, Emma Stone as Gwen Stacy was just...there, and The Lizard as the villain would have been a cool choice if this was the older films since we'd seen Dr. Conner as Peter's cool teacher. But this isn't about the shitty first film. This is about the shittier new one. And, by god, was it shitty! I'm not even sure where to start. The video game special effects? The horrible soundtrack? The premises for every villain being thinner than toilet paper from the 80's?

And there will be so many spoilers.

Nothing But Gossip May 2nd 2014

Everybody and their mama has been talking about racist Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling. He was recorded by his side piece, V. Stiviano. Part of her gig was to record him and likely bone him which is just...ugh. My mother says that she looks like a cat. Vivid Entertainment (porn!) has offered her a chance to shoot a porn with big wanged Black dudes. Sterling was fined $2.5 million and banned for life from the NBA. They will be trying to force him to sell the team as soon as possible. I just wish his chick would stop wearing that silly ass Daft Punk visor. Here are some gems from this man.

She's up all night to get lucky.

“It bothers me a lot that you want to broadcast that you're associating with black people. Do you have to?”

“You can sleep with black people. You can bring them in, you can do whatever you want. The little I ask you is not to promote it on that and not to bring them to my games.”

“I'm just saying, in your lousy fucking Instagrams, you don't have to have yourself with, walking with black people.”

Breaking news! Sterling got cancer. If you say anything about karma or god chances are we'll be roommates in hell. It is being reported that he has had it for the last couple of years. I wonder how many people are gonna feel bad for him now. I am pretty consistent with my dislike of folks. Someone who thinks that their race is superior to another needs to just disappear. We're all just different colored meat bags. Racism is just another reason why I hate culture. I'm not even gonna get into that right now.

Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are supposed to get married this weekend and no one cares.

Chris Brown will remain in jail in D.C until his hearing in a week or so for violating his probation. He looks like shit! This dude was not built for being locked up. Seriously, people need to realize that beating people up is not the best way to deal with things that bother you.