Theater Whore: Hunger Games Mockingjay Part 2

Hunger Games Mockingjay Part Two 1/10

There will be spoilers. So...yeah. I watched Hunger Games Mockingjay Part 2 today because I watched part one recently (click here to read that) and since I'd seen three of the four damned movies I was kinda all in. This continues right where the last film left off which makes sense since it was a two and a half hour long trailer. Jennifer Lawrence plays Katniss and she is still moping around and doesn't want to fight. Well too goddamn bad, sister. Shit is close to going down.

Everyone gets killed. Well, mostly everyone. I cant believe this far in they have the nerve to try and introduce new characters. One of my complaints with the very first film was that there was no character development so when these kids got slaughtered I didn't care. Same for this one. People from the last movie get wrecked and I didn't give a damn. This movie was so much weak sauce. I mean, the last movie was over two hours of bullshit so this one needed to hit the ground running. Guess what? It didn't!

Theater Whore: Legend

Legend 8/10

I got to see the movie Legend starring Tom Hardy and damn this was good. I did not know this movie existed or came out which makes perfect sense because fuck getting people like me to watch something new that's great, right? This is one of those movies that has a ton of actors from things where I know their face but not their name because they are from England. This movie was based off of real guys and as crazy as they seem in the movie it turns out they were way worse in real life.

The Review: Jessica Jones

I just finished plowing through all 13 episodes of the new Netflix series Jessica Jones and holy shit. Based on the trailers I was not excited at all to check the series out. I thought they were just cranking out anything after the success of Daredevil and that we were beginning the slow decline of cool comic book based shows and movies. I was extremely wrong. This show had my ass all over the internet trying to figure out who Jessica Jones and The Purple Man were. There will be spoilers because they released every episode in one day.

This show stars Krysten Ritter as Jessica Jones. She's a fuck up that has gone through some things. Oh, and she has super powers. Really strong. Can jump far. Durable. Loves to drink. Jessica runs Alias Investigations where she pretty much snoops on people for others. She is suffering PTSD after being held captive by this guy Kilgrave aka The Purple Man played by David Tennant. He has the ability to get you to do whatever he says just by saying it to you. And by whatever I mean anything from killing others or even yourself. She managed to break from his control and now he is all about getting her back. Meanwhile she has a fucked up secret that is threatening to come out.

New Wonder Woman Image Kind Of Released

A new image was released of Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman and I was less than impressed considering that a full image of her was released months ago. She spoke of playing WW in an upcoming (2017) movie and said “Oh, my God, I'm so excited about this role. I feel like I've been given a huge opportunity to inspire people, not only women. And not because of me but because of who Wonder Woman is and what she stands for. There's a lot of responsibility. But I have the best team and the best people to work with. It's going to be an amazing ride, knock on wood.” On IMDB the small synopsis of the movie is “An Amazon princess comes to the world of Man to become the greatest of the superheroines.”

It is being directed by Patty Jenkins who only other movie credit is Monster from 2003 and starred Charlize Theron. God, why couldn't she have been cast as Wonder Woman? The writer is a guy that did one of the Ice Age sequels and that Pan movie that came out a little bit ago and tanked (on a budget of $150 million it has made just $33 million in the last month and a half). I don't have too much hope for this movie or most of the upcoming ones (check that post out here). I don't hate DC films. People pick sides. You're either Marvel or DC. Its bullshit. I'm pro good films. The best Marvel thing made has been Daredevil and the best DC has been Batman. The whole set of DC films hinge on Batman V. Superman being incredible and I just don't see it being that. 

Theater Whore: Beasts Of No Nation

Beasts Of No Nation 9/10

I asked Cam who also saw Beasts Of No Nation if I should make this a Theater Whore post instead of a The Review. It was in the theaters for a minute so I went with yes because the herd for good movies this year is thinner than the backstage area of a Victoria Secrets show. This movie was written, directed, and filmed by Joji Fukunaga who also did the same for the first season of True Detective which was great. This stars Idris Elba and new actor Abraham Attah as Commandant and Agu. Commandant is a part of a revolution taking place in West Africa while Agu is dragged along for a violent, intense, incredible ride.

Agu is just a young boy in his village enjoying time with his friends and family while on the precipice of chaos as a war takes place. One day he is separated from his family and eventually the rest are slaughtered as they try to escape soldiers. He makes his way into the jungles where he is found by other young boys armed to the teeth. He joins up and fucking madness ensues.

Theater Whore: Scouts Guide To The Zombie Apocalypse

Scouts Guide To The Zombie Apocalypse 5/10

Scouts Guide To The Zombie Apocalypse had the potential to be super funny. Its about three high school aged scouts and a cocktail waitress trying to survive a zombie outbreak in their town. While there are for sure some parts that made me laugh out loud (“She's gumming my ass!”) the movie while less than 90 minutes long felt longer for some reason. I'm not quite sure who this is for. Not teens because of the nudity and the amount of cursing even though in real life teens are far worse. Not enough of a story for adults. Its one of those movies that if it were on cable would be fun to check out. Its not scary and the jump scares it does have tend to be for comedic effect like friends jumping out quickly for no reason. I will say, this movie had great advertising and a cool soundtrack.

Click here for previous Theater Whore. 

Billboard Magazine Top 10 Rappers Of All Time Sucks

Billboard magazine recently released a list of the Top 10 Rappers Of All Time. As you can probably guess, its bullshit. In late 2013 I made a list of my Top Five Rappers Of All Time and from what I can recall I didn't get much in the way of disagreement. Strangely, only one of mine made Billboard's ten. Actually, its not that strange. When people make lists a lot of people disagree with them because we all have our favorites and those we think deserve more respect.

Billboard said “Diehard fans, music nerds and critics love lists. But in rap, rankings like this take on a special level of import: aside from moving a crowd (shouts to Rakim), MC means proving you're the best. In no other genre do artists so blatantly express their desire to outdo competition. That made Billboard's editorial list a more high-stakes undertaking than usual. Many favorites -- Kane, Drake, KRS -- didn't make it, and each of those omissions hurts deep down. Note: we're ranking these folks as MCs, not artists. That's why Dr. Dre and Kanye West, for example, two legendary producer-rappers who don't match the mic skills of those listed here, were left out. Even Tupac, perhaps the most influential rapper ever globally, is arguably known more for great songwriting than dominant bars.”

Steel Punch Video Game Soundtrack

I started producing songs a few months ago for rapper Dan-e-o and was one of the winners of a contest. While creating beats and such I started to have the idea of creating a soundtrack for a video game. No, this game does not exist. I originally planned on making maybe three songs for it. Next thing you know there are songs for each level, boss battles, and bonus stages. Steel Punch was born!

Eventually I'll get around to creating characters and a back story for this but for now it exists as a video game in my head with a soundtrack for anyone to check out. This was fun to do and I tried to keep it based on the music that inspired it like Streets Of Rage, Daft Punk, and the Drive soundtrack. Click here if you want to download it as an mp3.

Steel Punch Start Menu 0:00 – 1:02

Character Select 1:02 – 4:34

Level 1 4:34 – 6:34

Level 1 Boss Battle 6:34 – 9:38

Bonus Level 1 9:39 – 11:06

Level 2 11:06 – 13:06

Level 2 Boss Battle 13:06 – 14:50

Bonus Level 2 14:50 – 15:57

Level 3 15:57 – 18:57

Level 3 Boss Battle 18:57 – 20:58

Bonus Level 3 20:58 – 21:57

Level 4 21:57 – 25:16

Level 4 Boss Battle 25:16 – 27:15

Bonus Level 4 27:15 – 28:00

Level 5 28:00 – 29:55

Level 5 Boss Battle 29:55 – 31:19

Bonus Level 5 31:19 – 31:53

Final Level 31:53 – 34:49

Final Boss 34:49 – 36:56

Insert Coin To Continue 36:56 – 37:20

Game Over 37:20 – 37:59

Steel Punch Credits Theme 37:59 – 40:00

The Review: Hunger Games Mockingjay

Once again Katniss Everdeen returns to trick unsuspecting mothers into thinking they have found a female hero for their daughters! For some reason I decided to watch Hunger Games Mockingjay which is the third movie (click here for a review of the first and second films) but had that part one thing because they decided to make a two hour trailer out of this film. Jennifer Lawrence returns to make her ugly crying face while being saved by every guy that is around her. If you have hugged Katniss, chances are you are not long for this world. Or you're gonna get tortured until you become a 5 foot 1 killing machine that has enough power to toss guards around the room before trying to choke out Katniss. That happened.

The Review: Doctor Strange The Sorcerer Supreme

I recently watched the 2007 Marvel animated film Doctor Strange: The Sorcerer Supreme. I had no idea this even existed. Not that I would have searched hard for it seeing as how I'm not really a fan of Dr. Strange and Marvel animated movies tend to stink. This turned out to be pretty decent. It is the origin of how Strange went from being asshole surgeon to one of the greatest sorcerers in the Marvel universe. All in what seems to be a few months.

10 Reasons Why You Should Have Watch Luther

If you have not seen the BBC series Luther starring Idris Elba maybe you just have something against good TV or you're one of those people that say you don't have time to watch TV but spend hours texting every day which proves you are terrible at time management. Or perhaps you are someone that thinks they have enough shows to watch and do not need to see another cop show. Wrong! You can keep your shuffling ass zombies or contests to crown the next a American loser. I'll stick with this show about a detective that is always on the edge of losing his shit.

This is about a Detective Chief Inspector named John Luther. Luther is as someone tells him “Fighting for the dead.” He can not have a healthy relationship no matter how much he thinks he can. He does things that are beyond illegal for what he thinks are good reasons. He could also steal your wife with a wink. That is a superpower I've been working on for years now. This show has now aired three series (that is what they call seasons over there) which consist of six, four, and four episodes. Here are the 10 Reasons Why You Should Have Watch Luther. Don't be stupid. You know this will contain spoilers.

Theater Whore: Spectre

Spectre 2/10

So...that was a movie. I watched the latest James Bond film Spectre and was super excited since I have liked all of the Daniel Craig Bonds but this film had nothing to offer me in terms of entertainment. It was just happening. I couldn't get interested in the story, the characters, the villains, or the gadgets. It was like Craig didn't want to be there and everyone's acting seemed a bit off. They got the action right but even that got old. This movie was over two hours long and felt way longer than that. I can't suggest this to anyone.

Click here for previous Theater Whore.

Theater Whore: Tale Of Tales

Tale Of Tales 9/10

The first film Koko and I saw for the AFI festival was Tale Of Tales. I knew nothing of this movie going in and intentionally wanted it that way. When I see independent or strange ass foreign films the less I know the better. This film was based on some old fairy tales where it involves three separate kingdoms and their rulers actions and wants leading to terrible things occurring. The stories kind of go back and forth between each other. There will be spoilers.

The first starred Selma Hayek and John C. Reilly as a king and queen that want children but can not have them. The queen has tried many things but none seem to work. One day this creepy ass guy shows up and tells her that she needs the heart of a sea creature that is cooked by a virgin for her to instantly become pregnant. She is all in. The king goes to slay this creature and is mortally wounded. She finds a virgin that cooks this massive heart and while doing so the virgin as well as the queen become pregnant.

Theater Whore: Free In Deed

Free In Deed 3/10

Today Koko and I went to the AFI films where we saw two movies. This was the second one called Free In Deed which was based off of actual events. This is the story of a man played by David Harewood with a strong faith in god and trying to make up for whatever he did in the past as well as a single mother played by Edwina Findley Dickerson that is struggling to work and take care of her two children, one of whom has something wrong where he has violent fits. She can not control him, he gets kicked out of school, and she turns to the church and this guys healing hands for help. This could only end badly.

The New Halle Berry Theory

Halle Berry is a confusing puzzle to solve. Now before you read any further understand that I know this woman's life is none of my business but I have lots of time, type quickly, and enjoy gossip. Now as I was saying, Halle is confusing. I have seen her in person once and she is very beautiful. I have described her as too beautiful. I have written about her and her marriage here and described what I call the Halle Berry Theory here a few years ago after she kept popping up in the news for random reasons.

Recently she has been in the news because of her and Olivier Martinez pending divorce and I was like "Damn, how many times has this woman been married?" Turns out four times. Imagine walking down the aisle and telling god and whoever is there that you're doing this till death do you part four separate times. If you look it up a lot of actors and actresses back in the day would do this too. Another reason she is in the news is because one of her previous spouses, David Justice, spoke out about her. For those that don't know, everyone thought he was the one that hit her so hard she says she lost 80% of the hearing in one of her ears so when you thought of this guy you thought baseball and hit Halle. He has since deleted these tweets. Some say it was Christopher Williams that hit her who then said it was Wesley Snipes.