Ross Radio Quickie Show 14

In memory of Bobby Womack I play some of my favorite songs from him. If You Think You're Lonely Now, That's The Way I Feel About 'Cha, Across 110th Street, California Dreaming, and Woman's Gotta Have It. Click here to download and listen to past Ross Radio Quickie Shows. 

Theater Whore: 22 Jump Street

22 Jump Street 6/10

Since I liked 21 Jump Street so much that I had to watch this sequel 22 Jump Street. It has the same stars, Channing Tatum, Jonah Hill, Nick Offerman, and Ice Cube. But they added a few more to the cast and one that was especially awesome and deserved way more screen time was Jillian Bell. That girl was funny as hell and I'd never seen her in anything before. The movie starts with a guy named Ghost played by Peter Stormare who is the bad guy, of course. Schmidt (Hill) and Jenko (Tatum) go undercover as cholos to try and bust them. It all goes to shit when an octopus jumps Schmidt and the bad guys get away.

Deputy Chief Hardy (Offerman) sends Schmidt and Jenko on another undercover case. He tells them to do exactly what they did the last time. He then goes on to explain what is going to happen in the movie including all the problems they will have and how they will overcome them. They need to find out why a girl was killed that involves a drug called WHYPHY (Word hard, yes. Play harder yes.) and are roomed together. Immediately Jenko makes friends with the jocks while Schmidt struggles as usual to talk to people. Schmidt ends up meeting and hooking up with a girl named Maya played by Amber Stevens who has the roommate from hell.

Theater Whore: Edge Of Tomorrow

Edge Of Tomorrow 5/10

I wasn't dying to see Edge Of Tomorrow. The title is silly, the trailer didn't tickle my pickle, and, my god, Tom Cruise has released some stinkers lately. But I decided to give this a try because I am dying to see some good movies. This one wasn't as bad as I thought it was gonna be but I wouldn't start telling people to go see it. Its in the future at some point and Cruise plays Major William Cage who...wait. William Cage? Really. Let me look at the names he has used in his last few films. Jack Harper, Jack Reacher, Stacee Jaxx, and Ethan Hunt. Come on now.

Cage (sigh) gets forced into fighting against a bunch of aliens that are attacking Europe. Its so silly. They send this guy who is a flight risk and has absolutely no combat experience to help spearhead the last ditched effort against these Mimics (never explained why these aliens are called this because they don't mimic a damned thing). He manages to land on the battlefield and dies. But not really. He wakes up right after he was caught and taken to boot camp.

10 Reasons Why You Should Have Watched Fargo

Before you even ask, yes, this will contain a lot of spoilers for the first season of the FX series Fargo. Kiyoshi posted something about the series and I said to myself “Oh, I heard an interview about this show and it seemed slightly interesting.” But then I hadn't heard anyone talking about this show and figured it couldn't be that good. “The Trailer Trap...” floated through my head. What TTT translates to is the fact that I've missed a lot of good things because the trailers for them looked terrible and they turned out to be good. So here is a list of reasons why you should be watching Fargo.

Nothing But Gossip June 17th 2014

Miley Cyrus stalker named Devon Meek can not go anywhere near her for the next three years. He says that the police might as well shoot him in the head if he can't see her. He has to stay 100 yards from her an can not go anywhere near where she is performing.

Paul Simon and Edie Brickell dropped the domestic violence charges that they had both filed against each other. Last April they were both arrested for fighting each other.

Melanie Griffith and Antonio Banderas are divorcing after 18 years of marriage. No kid issues since their daughter turns 18 soon. Griffith just wants the dogs. I am legit surprised that he stuck with her after the terrible things she did to her face. He didn't sign up for that.

Bruce Jenner spent Father's Day alone because his kids are all famous and busy.

Spoiler Alert: Game Of Thrones "The Children" Episode

If there's one thing that Game Of Thrones has taught me, or GOT as the kids say, is that it is silly to get attached to people. If you watch GOT and there is someone you have attached yourself to chance are they are gonna die horribly. They wont just disappear like that youngest Stark kid (not Bran...the other one). They won't get replaced by a character that looks nothing like that swarthy guy hanging out with Daenerys. No. They will get burned, stabbed, poisoned, beheaded, or have their face squeezed until it explodes. That has happened on this show!

There are people that wont even try and watch GOT because they think its about violence, dragons, and sex. True, all three of these exist but there's far more to this show than that. I watched 24 this season and forgot how violent that show is. But fuck all that. I'm not here to sell you on GOT. If you don't watch it you're just choosing to not watch a great show. Your loss. I'm here to talk about the season finale of season 4! And if you can't tell by the title, I'm gonna spoil the shit out of this.

Who Should Be In The Expendables?

The Expendables 3 is coming out in a few months. I saw the first two and for some reason there are stars from the 80's that have not appeared. In this next film they have Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Randy Couture, Terry Crews, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Wesley Snipes, Antonio Banderas, Mel Gibson, Harrison Ford, Kelsey Grammer, Kellan Lutz, Ronda Rousey, Victor Ortiz, Glen Powell and Robert Davi. You would think that after three films that they would be running out of action stars based on some of the names they have added. Lutz? Grammer? Davi? Come on. This is silly. They didn't even need to have Couture in the last two films but have kept him for whatever reason.

I was talking to Beastman a few weeks ago about this movie and we were trying to think of some Black actors that could be used. Beastman was thinking of Blair Underwood (this took hours to figure out who the hell he was even talking about) and I shot that down like a suggestion to Veggie Grill. While Crews has the look and is a funny ass guy he is not an action star from my youth. I came up with a few that should be in the movie (assuming they aren't surprise guests) as well as some women. I love Rousey like I love a good BLT but come on.

Theater Whore: A Million Ways To Die In The West

A Million Ways To Die In The West 6/10

I have wanted to see A Million Ways To Die In The West since I saw the trailer and laughed my ass off. This kinda sense of humor with farts, cursing, and random funny violence is just the kinda thing that I am into. It is written by, starring, and directed by Seth MacFarlane which is a lot for someone to do and can either help or hurt a movie. In this case it helped quite a bit but also hurt some. MacFarlane plays a sheep farmer named Albert Stark in a town called Old Stump, Arizona. He is afraid of living in the Old West because everything is dangerous. Everything. And when they show how every day life can kill you it makes me so happy I was born when I was!

Liam Neeson is an outlaw named Clinch Leatherwood who is known as one of the most dangerous men around. He sends his wife Anna played by Charlize Theron and one of his men (pretending to be Anna's brother) to Old Stump until he decides to show up and wreck shit. He shows up right after Albert's girlfriend Louise played by Amanda Seyfried leaves him for Foy played by Neil Patrick Harris who runs a mustache parlor and is very proud of his mustache. While at the fair, where people get set on fire and killed, Foy and Louise try and show off their relationship in front of Albert. Anna steps in and defends him and the next thing you know Albert challenges Foy to a showdown in a week. Anna spends time showing Albert how to shoot while her “brother” is locked up.

Theater Whore: Maleficent

Maleficent 7/10

I decided to check out Maleficent because it seemed like it would be an interesting movie. I wasn't really excited and am not the biggest fan of Sleeping Beauty, but because this was based upon a villain that tends to be loved by hot women I checked it out. Yeah. I'm that easy. I was surprised at how good this turned out to be. I mean, come on. Its Angelina Jolie looking better than she has in years. I forget that she is a good actress since I get caught up in her personal life. She hasn't done a film in almost five years so I had to watch this.

This movie pretty much proved to me that in a situation where there are humans and magical creatures that 9 times out of 10 the humans will just up and be dicks for close to no reason. In the woods there are creatures, monsters, and Maleficent living together all happy. She's young and one day some tree monsters catch some little boy named Stefan who was trying to steal something. They meet and over the years they fall in love with one another. After time passes he stops visiting, an army tries to invade, and she finds out that his punk ass is married now and has a kid on the way. Bad move.

Demand It!: Street Fighter Assassins Fist

The other day while trolling the internets I found this Street Fighter: Assassin's Fist on Youtube that came out the previous week that I had no idea about. It was done by the same guys that did this cool, like, two minute short a few years back. This time they broke it down into multiple parts or you can watch the whole thing on DVD/BluRay and you should because it's pretty damned amazing.

It is the story of Ken and Ryu being trained to become the fighters that they are as well as the story of their master and Akuma who if you don't know is the baddest son of a bitch on the planet. The story goes back and forth between the present and the arrival of Ken to the dojo where he meets a young Ryu. Ken hates everything and is a spoiled ass kid who gets humbled by Ryu immediately. Also shown is their master's training as well as his brother who thirsts for more power who eventually becomes Akuma.

The Day Mary Lynn Rajskub Got Hot

Mary Lynn Rajskub plays Chloe on the TV show 24. And she is hot now. She's never looked unattractive or anything. But I never really checked her out. When she was on the show she always had this look on her face like you were interrupting her in the middle of something. She just looked super annoyed and talked to everyone like the tech support people you have to deal with on the phone that get pissed off when you don't understand all the computer shit they are saying. I've seen her in a couple of other movies as well like Punch Drunk Love which is one of my favorite movies. In that she was a mean ass sister that seemed annoyed. I was like “This woman needs to start smiling.”

Imagine my surprise when I start watching this new season of 24 and see Chloe all goth'd up and looking hot. Cut her hair, dyed it black, wear some black clothing and all of a sudden I'm warm for her form. She is married and I'm sure that when someone is married to an actor or actress and they have to do some extreme makeover like Gary Oldman, Tom Hardy, or Christian Bale (his poor, poor wife who had to deal with him during the filming of American Hustle) they must get nervous. Your spouse has to gain 50 pounds of fat, shave their head, or get some look that is just not the business. But Rajskub's husband had to have been like “Damn, baby! You is lookin' fine!” Pretty sure he doesn't talk like that normally but after seeing her new look he started speaking jive. 

Nothing But Gossip June 4th 2014

In her DWI case in New Jersey, Dina Lohan, was given 100 hours of community service and her license revoked for a year. “The only person responsible for this ordeal is Miss Lohan. She is just lucky nobody was killed. She may not be as lucky next time” the judge told her. Seriously. If you're getting behind the wheel of a vehicle drunk you're actively being a silly person. Her ex husband Michael Lohan has been ordered to pay $20,000 for their sons schooling or be arrested. This family is a hot ass mess.

Jonah Hill apologized after telling an annoying photographer to “suck my dick, you faggot!” That entire sentence makes no sense. Now he is on the apology tour coming close to crying because he had to be a jackass instead of having fun promoting his new movie.

V. Stiviano says that she was attacked in New York and filed a police report. Some are speculating this occurred because of a video that was posted showing her talking mad shit about Black people in an audition for a reality show a few years back. A guy, one of two, was arrested and charged with a third degree hate crime and harassment.

Donald Sterling, who is the reason why we know the chick above, has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's, is suing the NBA for $1 billion, had the Clippers sold for $2 billion after his wife(?) go ownership of the team, and is still a dick.

Chris Brown has been released from jail after spending 108 days there and says that he will never go back again. Ha! He still has the assault case to go to court for which could get him four years in prison if guilty.

Formula For Evil (Not For Animal Lovers)

I have recently discovered that there is a formula for evil. A way to create a villain that some would consider cool even though they are a killer and all it takes is this one thing to make them completely evil and irredeemable. Look at a show like Dexter. Man, remember when that show was good? It was about a serial killer that worked with police. He killed bad people while he himself was a bad person. He caught and tortured people before killing them. Yeah, he had "The Code" but he was still a bad guy. This will contain slight spoilers for the shows House of Cards and Fargo.

This kinda thing goes across the board. Shows like Luther where the main character has rage issues and does dirty things to get the job done. Sherlock who is a master manipulator. Game Of Thrones where everyone is just a bad day about from mass murder. But no matter what these characters do we can still pick out a favorite one.

"My favorite is that guy with the huge sword."

"The one that burned that village full of orphans last episode?"

"Yeah. But still..."