Theater Whore: The Purge

I don’t see many creepy or horror films in the theater but after seeing the trailer for The Purge I decided to give it a try. This is from the makers of Paranormal Activities (which I still haven’t seen any of) and are known for making films cheaply and getting a lot of profit. This film cost $3 million and has made almost $68 million in less than three weeks. That’s a lot of Wimpy Burgers!

I should have waited to see this.

Its not terrible but you can tell that there is a movie that could actually be fucking incredible inside of this. Its 2022 and crime and unemployment is low, like, 1% low. The reason why is because once a year the government lets the country go fucking ape shit for 12 hours one day a year. It’s a chance for everyone to let their anger out so for the rest of the year everything is cool.

Bullshit.

Insert Coin: Ikari Warriors

“The player takes the role of commando-like warriors named Ralf and Clark, who must try to reach the village of Ikari. Enemy units attempting to kill the player include tanks, enemy soldiers and helicopters. A number of power-ups along the way help the player to achieve victory. Ikari Warriors was the first popular video game to use rotary joysticks: those which could be rotated in addition to being pushed in eight directions. The game also featured two buttons, one for the standard gun and another for lobbing grenades. It allowed two players to play cooperatively, side-by-side — one of the few games to do so at the time — and to use vehicles.”

Ikari Warriors is one of those games where you hear the name and go “Oh, that game was awesome! One of the best games for the NES!” because you’re remembering it with childhood eyes. This is one of the most aggravating games ever made and almost impossible to beat unless you know that hitting A, B, B, A will bring you back to life. Otherwise, you’re not getting past the first level. 

Going by the cover you think that you’re gonna be in these deep jungles with your partner sporting your ever so deadly pink and baby blue headbands and shooting the fuck out of ninjas. 

The Rant Zone Episode 22

Its been a long time but I am back with a new Rant Zone. I cover the Top 12 movies of the past weekend, Man Of Steel, Iron Man 3, Fast & Furious 6, and admit to liking World War Z. Click here for this and previous Rant Zone Shows. 

Theater Whore: Fast & Furious 6

You know the best part of Fast & Furious 6? When cars go fast and things explode. You know what I don’t like? When Paul Walker is allowed to speak for a few seconds. Out of the six films that have been released (so far) there have been three that are worth watching again. You make any references to Tokyo Drift and my eyes will start to cross. Maybe that’s why I don’t give a damn about the Japanese dude. I really hope he got started in that one otherwise I’m just being an asshole. These films are not heavy on plot and when they try its almost cute like “Aw, you’re trying to be a story” and you kiss it on top of the head…then it explodes. 

Everyone you care about it back. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Vin Diesel, Ludacris, Tyrese Gibson, and the rest. Oh, Gina Carano joins the crew and Michelle Rodriguez returns from the dead. Paul Walker who has one acting setting and his wife Jordana Brewster who has two have a kid who will hopefully have three are living the life of escaped convicts. They have money and no worries. Vin Diesel and his lady from the last film are good as well. Then one day The Rock shows up and he’s all like “I have more muscles than flesh. Your girlfriend you thought was dead is alive. Help us catch her and this crew she is working with and we’ll let you all get back into America with no charges against you.” I was like, really?! Can you do that?! 

Nothing But Gossip June 26th 2013

Remember last month when Chris Brown hit that woman’s car? Well, the drama is not over! She says that when she asked for his insurance information that he snapped on her ass to the point where his side piece Karrueche Tran had to tell him to calm down because we all know how Brown gets around women when he is upset with them. “You are a bitch! Who do you think you are, bitch? Do you think if you driving a Mercedes so got money, bitch?” Oh, this kid is so special. 

Oh, and in other Lady Smasher news, the chick Deanna Gines that was hurt at a club while he was performing was videotaped walking fine after the incident and/or limping on the wrong leg. I did some investigating and she has a modeling profile. Great way to get your name out there, miss. Good job.

And more news from He Who Hurts Females. Some chick handed him some draws (a thong) with her name and number on them. Ew! She says they were not used (worthless) but “definitely had boob sweat on the panties.” 

Theater Whore: World War Z

Let me start this off by saying that I had no intentions of seeing this movie. I was gonna watch it way later down the line because as I have written before (click here to read my rant) I was pissed that this movie was even being made. I was mad at the cast, the story, the zombies that run faster than Olympians. Just…everything. So how did I end up watching it in 3D no less?

Me and East sat in the wrong theater.

Now, at The Arclight this was in theater 1. So when we headed in because we were supposed to see Star Trek: Into The Darkness at 11:05 we got our 3D glasses, which were much smaller and way lighter, and say down and talked before the movie. I asked her what the time was and the movie should’ve started two minutes ago. 

So when the usher came in (after giving us the proper eyewear) and did her little speech before the movie she said “World War Z has a run time of…” and I looked at East like “Whaaaaa…?!” She asked the usher what film this was and she repeated herself. We realized we were in the wrong theater. Hey, the way the theater is set up is stupid, okay?! 

This was me when I found out I was in the wrong theater. 

She said we could go to the correct theater but the movie had already started and I hate getting into movies late. So we stayed and I was like “Goddamn it. I am such a hypocrite. I was just bitching about this movie for the past year.” So we sat down and I was prepared to be mad especially after how shitty Iron Man 3 was. 

Konversation About Kim & Kanye

I am joined by fellow gossip lover Christina for this talk. Thanks for helping, babe! And for letting me yell at Wendy Williams outfits and wigs everyday.

Christina: So the pictures are fake of North? 

Dante: Yeah, those pictures are supposed to be fake. Some are saying she sent fake ones to people to see who would leak them.

Christina: Ah ha ha. Go head Kim Kardashian. Well we will soon see what she looks like because Kanye West is too flashy.

Dante: They are being offered two million for pictures.

Christina: They will take it. You know why? Because Beyonce put out a picture of her and Blue I think a week after Blue was born. Ah ha ha. They want to be a couple like them so bad. Po’ couple. They will never be like them.

Theater Whore: Iron Man 3

It took me forever to do it but I finally got around to seeing Iron Man 3 starring Robert Downey Jr. And boy was I disappointed. I have really liked the previous Iron man movies, even part two which a lot of people shit on. I was looking forward to this one for so many reasons and each of those reasons was kind of dashed away. I knew Downey would be good as Tony Stark/Iron Man. That wasn’t my worry at all. I was looking forward to the villain, seeing a bunch of Iron Man suits wrecking things, and hopefully a cameo from one of The Avengers. 

The movie is about Stark being mentally fucked after his short trip through that wormhole at the end of Avengers. He cant sleep and it is affecting his behavior. Guy Pearce shows up and he’d met Stark years ago and since then looks all swarthy and getting cozy with Gwenyth Paltrow’s Pepper Parks. Pearce was pretty much Sam Rockwell with more screen time. I just saw this movie and am having trouble trying to figure out the order of things. It is all jumbled which makes sense because that is how this movie was. 

WWE Newest Horror

The last few months have been a total geek fest for me in terms of seeing wrestlers I like and have liked for years being brought to FCW/NXT and then WWE. The latest is Sami Callihan. This crazy looking son of a bitch is someone I got into watching his stuff online. To call his style unorthodox would be a huge understatement. There's no real way to describe how he wrestles.

If you think he is just hardcore watch his match against Austin Aries where he, gasp!, wrestles. You think he is too small watch him powerbomb men a foot taller than him. Why am I sitting here defending a guy that has already been hired by WWE?! Just find his matches and watch them. He's not dull. He is way unpredictable. He has a style no one else has right now. And he does shit I would never even think to do in the ring. No, not when he piledrove a woman through a table at ringside. I think of that every week for some reason. Hey, I take public transportation! Old ladies be trippin'!

A while back I wrote an article explaining why I liked Brodus Clay. Ugh. Looking back now I wish he hadn't become what he is now. But something I liked about him while watching his match was the fact that when he got chopblocked he screamed. It wasn't the usual thing where a wrestler just collapses and holds their leg. He screamed. When Callihan gets hurt it looks like the ref should be stopping the match. I'm never quite sure when it is "real" or not. The guys that seem to be able to do that well are the ones that are considered indie like CM Punk, Seth Rollins, Dean Ambrose, El Generico, and Daniel Bryan. Its less look like a muscle bound monster and more put on good matches.

The past few weeks the only thing from Raw that I've looked for now are Daniel Bryan matches. His match with Ryback shocked me. It was the best match Ryback has had since he's been there and he took leg kicks for the most part. If you took every member of The Radicals and added a bit of evil William Regal you would come out with someone like Callihan. I know that's saying a lot but I have faith in this dude. Plus I'm this close to giving up on watching wrestling.

I'm gonna post a link with a list of some of the movies he does from a Youtuber named ManiBahamutVZ because his finisher is a Stretch Muffler. You know that move, right? Single leg elevated Boston Crab. Well, if you don't tap out he drops and grapevines your body. Still feeling heroic? He starts kicking you in the damned head! Who thinks to do that to another human being?! Apparently this lunatic. I look forward to seeing what happens with this dude once he is on the main roster. I usually try and imagine a new guy with the current roster but from the way things are going lately everyone will be out with a concussion. 

Nothing But Gossip June 21st 2013

The name of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West baby has been revealed and it is...North West. I am shitting you not. This is what they named their kid. I mean, fuck me upside down. Why did they do that? Its gonna be hard enough having them as your parents. Now your name is a direction. I'm gonna name my first child 83 Degrees Latitude...Ross. Good luck, kid. You're gonna need it.

Oh, and for anyone saying "That kid is gonna be rich so its name wont matter!" shut your word hole right now. No amount of money will make up for a fucked up name. I don't even go by my real first name!

Amanda Bynes is coming out with a rap album because I don't know if you agree with me or not, but I don't think there's quite enough terrible music on the radio right now.

Actor James Gandolfini died the other day and that fucking sucks. They suspect a heart attack. He was 51.

The DNA Show Best Of Part 1

Years ago me and young Alex Hluch started a show called The DNA Show. For a while we covered everything from music, television, movies, and a Top 5 list that dealt with different topics ranging from scariest villains to sexiest movie scenes. I have put together some of my favorite moments from episodes 1 through 10. You can still check out our old blog by clicking here. Hope you all enjoy!

Who Is The Best Superman?

A few days ago I watched the latest Superman film Man Of Steel and enjoyed it. It got me to thinking of all the guys that have played Superman in a live action movie and who was the best one? There are a few things that have to happen for it to be considered Superman and for some reason it doesn't always happen. He has to come from Krypton, fly, be hurt by Kryptonite, and look the part. Superman has a certain look that is mostly in the guy in the costume more than the costume itself.

You don't count!

Pictured is Tom Welling from the Smallville series. I'm not including him in this list for a lot of different reasons. He doesn't wear the costume until the very last episode of ten seasons of horseshit and even then it isn't a clear image of him. Plus he looks like he cries into pillows at night. Superman cant have that image, damn it! This is just the movies and one of the series because it actually featured a costumed Superman.

Nothing But Gossip June 18th 2013

Once again Charlie Sheen is being, well, himself. It is being reported that he is not a fan of working with Selma Blair and is threatening to quit yet another one of his shows that I have no interest in watching, Anger Management. I watched the film years ago and hated it. I have no desire to see this show. From the clips I have watched he still looks just dry and creepy. By the way, he is making a shit ton of money for this show. I’m talking $1 million dollars or more per episode.

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West aka The Couple My Spell Check Hates had a baby! They have not released any pictures or a name yet so I’ll just call her Newest Mistake. Poor thing. Could you imagine having either one of them let alone both of them as your parents?!

Noisemaker Chief Keef who was arrested for speeding on top of all the other dumb shit he has done was told that he can not drive a vehicle for the next 18 months, fines, and community service. Oh, he is only 17 years old by the way. After he left court he was busted for trespassing at an apartment complex he was told to never be at. Seriously, get all that shit out your system before you’re 18. Because you are rich and Black and will not get the free passes that others do. I’m looking at you kid that I am about to write about!

Theater Whore: Man Of Steel

Finally! The Ross has come back to…Theater Whore! Yes, that was a terrible imitation of The Rock. Shut up. But seriously, it has been way too damn long since I have dragged my ass to the movies and can write a review. I was gonna see Star Trek a few weeks ago but ended up staying home, talking on the phone, and cleaning because fuck outdoors. Today I headed up to The Arclight in Hollywood which is actually on Sunset and saw Man Of Steel.

Oh, there are gonna be a lot of spoilers.

This is gonna be different from my past reviews because I haven’t done this in a while and I really want to focus on all the good things that happened in this movie. A lot of people were against it from the start because Zack Snyder directed it. I liked his film Watchmen, 300, and Sucker Punch so I wasn’t worried about him. I wasn’t even worried about Henry Cavill playing Superman because he looked the part. I was worried about liking the actual movie.

Stop It Kanye West

I really struggled with writing this one. I have liked Kanye West for quite some time now. He’s a talented producer and has created some really good beats. Yeah, I’m fully aware that he raps over these beats but this guy is not a good rapper. The funny thing about his last album is that he is usually the worst part of the song. Whenever he says that he is one of the best rappers of all time I think “Yeah, if this was the year 2 A.D.” You know that thing when you keep giving someone a chance and they keep fucking it up with their behavior? That’s the definition of this guy and he needs to stop it.

Happy happy, joy joy.

He walks around with a perpetual “someone farted in church” face. He never looks happy and when he does its when he thinks he just said something incredible. For someone that has millions of dollars, worldwide recognition, and got a woman who was voted the most beautiful or hot woman in the world multiple times he sure doesn’t seem happy. And let’s talk about his baby mama for a minute, Kim Kardashian.

Ross Radio Show 148

I felt like playing some dancing music. Welcome to the new home of The Ross Radio! I play Tag Team Whoomp! (There It Is!), 69 Boyz Kitty Kitty, Rob Base & DJ EZ Rock It Takes Two, Freak Nasty Da’ Dip, Duice Dazzey Duks, AMG Bitch Betta Have My Money, MC Brains Oochie Coochie, Wreckx N Effect Rump Shaker, Digital Underground The Humpty Dance, and Quad City DJ’s C’mon ‘N Ride It (The Train). Click here to download this and past Ross Radio Shows.

Nothing But Gossip June 10th 2013

Former NFL player and habitual fuck up Chad Johnson was sentenced to 30 days in jail for violating his probation. Apparently he was gonna get a lighter sentence but when he slapped his male lawyer on the ass the judge got pissed. 

Justin Bieber is being a jackass again. He stole a photographers camera and when the guy begged for it back he took the SIM card instead. I’m not into all that technology shit but apparently that’s very important. Probably had dick pics on it. Anyhoot, this is all on tape and you best believe Bieber will get in trouble. Bullshit. If he hasn’t been busted for all the other dumb shit he’s done this isn’t gonna do it. The guy also says that a bodyguard brandished his gun and dude’s lawyer says that the bodyguard doesn’t have a license to be one or carry a piece in Florida. Of course its in Florida! In the last week Bieber and his people have gotten into it four times. Three in Miami and once in Hollywood. 

Cant you just imagine him sounding like an angry kitten?

Kobe Bryant and his mom have come to an agreement with her trying to sell off his shit claiming that he had given her the stuff (rings, trophies. and other stuff). Of course she released a statement that is full of words that real people don’t use like “unintended”, “inadvertent”, and “regret.”

TNA Hall Of Shame 2013

TNA/Impact! or how I create wrestling in my WWE video games because all the wrestlers come from different companies recently inducted Kurt Angle into their Hall of Fame. He is the first person to join the ranks of such amazing wrestlers as...uh...Sting. Yeah. Sting. That's it because this is only the second year they have done this joke. No disrespect to Sting or Kurt Angle. Both of them would make my top ten wrestlers of all time. The problem I have is the fact that they were the first two inductees into a hall of fame for a company that neither of them helped build. 

Now I know that people like to shit on smaller wrestlers but TNA was built on that. They were ROH-Lite to me years ago before they created their own identity. Guys like AJ Styles, Team Canada, Christopher Daniels, and Jeff Jarrett are the ones I think of when I think of TNA. One of them should have been first. And don't give me crap about them not being as popular as Sting or Angle. I doubt the average person knows who either of them are. As much of a Stinger as I am (was...) people would likely think he is Ultimate Warrior if you showed them a picture of his face.

When I first heard of this hall of fame I assumed that Jeff Jarrett would be inducted. Nope. Maybe Styles? No? Then who? I know that the company is made up of a roster consisting of mostly WCW, WWE, and ROH wrestlers. But the ones that have been there from the get-go should have been placed first. People talk about the WWE Hall of Fame as a joke because guys like Drew Carey and Pete Rose.

Bullshit.

Having a guy that is the epitome of WCW that isn't a regular member of your roster and did nothing to help the company gain notoriety as your first inductee is bullshit. Again, Sting was one of my favorite wrestlers growing up but he is WCW till he dies. Kurt Angle should have retired in WWE but he went to TNA and I cant think of one match he has had that can top any he had with Brock Lesnar, Chris Benoit, The Rock, or Stone Cold Steve Austin. If anything he's done nothing but tarnish all the good he did with his multiple attempts at getting into MMA, arrests, and trying to get into the Olympics.

I am already making predictions for next years winner. Hulk Hogan maybe? Samoa Joe (who is not a TNA original no matter how often they say it)? Taz? Knowing the way this is going it'll probably be Eric Bischoff just to piss me off.

TV Slut: Justified Season 1

About a week and a half ago Cam gave me this awesome ass Roku box. You can watch online things like Amazon and Netflix. Its awesome. So while trolling on it I found this show called Justified. I’d heard of it and seen billboards but I’m not that into Westerns so I ignored it. I decided to check it out, and surprise,  its not a damn Western. The star, Timothy Olyphant, just likes to wear a cowboy hat. This is a damn good show that I still have two more seasons to catch up on.

Olyphant stars as Raylan Givens who shoots a guy in Miami after giving him notice that he would if he didn’t leave town in twenty four hours. Well, he shoots the guy and ends up being sent back to his hometown where as soon as he gets there there’s all kind of drama going on.