Spoiler Alert: The Walking Dead "The Grove" Episode

I don't watch The Walking Dead on AMC. When it first started I watched the first episode and liked it. But as time went on I just didn't care to keep watching. I heard recaps of it every week on the radio and listened to interviews with the creator and it never captured my interest. I was intrigued when a friend told me that Michonne was finally showing up. By that time I was watching movies and other stuff and just didn't care to catch up to the show. Updates were fine for me and they confirmed what I already thought about the show: it was too bleak.

For a week or so I kept hearing and seeing the phrase “Just look at the flowers” and wanted to know what it was all about. I stopped watching Justified long enough to watch the season finale of TWD and realized as it ended that I was watching the wrong episode. So I found the correct one titled “The Grove” and within minutes was happy that I didn't have kids. Not because its hard enough keeping them alive without worrying about zombie attacks, but because they would seriously cut into my zombie killing time.

Stop It: Gwenyth Paltrow

Are you planning on getting a divorce? Have you already divorced? Shame on you. Its all about that thing called “consciously uncoupling” because regular divorces are for your mortals, not for people like Gwyneth Paltrow. She and her soon to be ex husband lead singer of Coldplay Chris Martin released a statement that has angered many people but just managed to make me roll my eyes so hard that I was able to see my brain, read my thoughts, and express my annoyance through text. Here is what she posted on her blog.

“It is with hearts full of sadness that we have decided to separate. We have been working hard for well over a year, some of it together, some of it separated, to see what might have been possible between us, and we have come to the conclusion that while we love each other very much we will remain separate. We are, however, and always will be a family, and in many ways we are closer than we have ever been. We are parents first and foremost, to two incredibly wonderful children and we ask for their and our space and privacy to be respected at this difficult time. We have always conducted our relationship privately, and we hope that as we consciously uncouple and coparent, we will be able to continue in the same manner.

Love,
Gwyneth & Chris”

I will assume Chris didn't write a single word of this. I have heard his music. He is better than this. I love how when famous people split they say that they will remain best friends and that everything is great...except for the fact that something happened that was so bad that they can't stand to be in the same home together.

Ross Radio Quickie Show 11

In this episode I felt like playing some of my favorite Aretha Franklin songs. I play Rock Steady, I Say A Little Prayer, Respect, Chain of Fools, and Think. Click here for this and past Ross Radio Quickie Shows.  

DVDiculous: Avengers Confidential: Black Widow & Punisher

I think its time for Marvel to finally just step down and allow DC Comics to produce their animated films for them because these things that come out are just terrible. Avengers Confidential: Black Widow & Punisher is like a lot of these straight to DVD movies by Marvel: they look incredible but once you get past that you're left with a weak ass story that makes Marvel writers come across as hyperactive teenagers that were given the reigns to make a movie.

What they do get right is the violence level used by Punisher. But after a few minutes of seeing him blow people apart you start to see why the films have done so badly. It becomes just a violent mess and pretty boring fast. They then introduce Black Widow who also does not have the strength to carry a film and now we have two messes. S.H.I.E.L.D then show up and ask Punisher to help them and blah blah blah more violence and characters I don't care about and a history between Black Widow and some lame ass guy who goes between being super fucking strong to being able to be hurt by Black Widow.

Nothing But Gossip March 25th 2014

At a recent concert Miley Cyrus took a big swig of water from her bottle and spit it into the crowd a few times. Fuck. That. If a drop of anything from her petri dish of a mouth landed on me that part would have to be burned or cut off. Ugh!

Anita Baker had a warrant out for her arrest for not responding to court papers for her to appear in court. Now a judge has put a stop to it and I am mad. Her voice makes me hate.

Chris Brown is still locked up in jail for violating his probation. He broke rehab rules by touching women there (remember, he is there because he beat the fuck out of Rihanna) and bragging about his knife and gun skills. Oh, he also said rehab is stupid during group therapy. He is supposed to be in jail for a few more weeks and allegedly now wants to cut a deal with the guy he beat in Washington. I recall him saying that he didn't do that.

Speaking of CB, his side piece Karrueche (Kuh-Row-Chee) Tran refuses to talk shit about him. Good for her.

Ross Radio Show 163

Time to wake up! I play some Sunshine Anderson Heard It All Before, 112 Dance With Me, Missy Elliot Ching-A-Ling, Fatman Scoop Be Faithful, Timbaland & Magoo Luv 2 Luv Ya, Bubba Sparxxx Ms. New Booty, Guy I Wanna Get With You, Foxy Brown I Taste Just Like Candy, N.A.S.A Hide, and SWV Anything ft. Wu Tang Clan. Click here for this and past Ross Radio Shows. 

Dan-e-o feat. SepTo & Rich Kidd "Get Up On It"

This song makes me want to fuck and fight at the same time. It's like thinking of an ex-girlfriend who burnt your clothes but was great in bed. "Get Up On It" features Dan-e-o, Rich Kidd, and Septo. If you don't like this song then something is wrong with you. Leave it to Canada to continue making hip-hop that is worth listening to.

Click here to for "Inevitable" on Bandcamp

Click here to get it on iTunes

Click here to subscribe to Dan-e-o on Youtbe

Theater Whore: Only Lovers Left Alive

Only Lovers Left Alive 4/10

So H. and I got a chance to check out Only Lovers Left Alive starring Tom Hiddleston and Tilda Swinton and all's I can say about it is...meh. Which sucks because I was looking forward to this movie since I heard it even existed. I like both of these actors and the director so I was looking forward to seeing the two of them just wrecking shit as vampires. Or being interesting. Neither happened. They look like vampires. They act like them, I guess. They just didn't at any point make me go “Wow, I can't get enough of watching these two together!”

Hiddleston and Swinton star as Adam and Eve...yes. Those are their names. Adam is a reclusive musician who lives in Detroit and seems to not really enjoy technology. Most of his house contains old things or stuff he has put together. He has a helper Ian played by Anton Yelchin. Ian helps Adam get old guitars and equipment. Adam does not drink blood by attacking people, rather he gets it from a hospital by paying cash to a shady doctor.

Babbling Old Man: Return Of The Killer Tomatoes

So H., Beastman, and I watched Return Of The Killer Tomatoes. This movie was made in 1988. I'd seen the first film and I don't remember it being as silly as this one. Of course, since I was less than 10 years old when it came out my opinion can't be trusted. There are a bunch of films that left good memories that need to be left that way. As an adult I ask far too many logical questions when watching silly things from the past. When watching Tom & Jerry I saw “Ow!” more often than I laugh now.

This movie is silly as hell. It takes place about ten years after the original Great Tomato War. No one can eat or own tomatoes since its illegal so Wilbur Finletter from the original film owns a pizza shop that makes pizzas with no tomatoes. Now...just because you can't use tomatoes doesn't mean that the shit you make has to be weird. Everyone is eating pizzas with candy and vegetables on it.Its gross and weird and I'd just have a burger. His nephew Chad works with him as a delivery boy and has his roommate Matt played by George Clooney who I am sure wold destroy every copy of this movie if he could.

TV Slut: True Detective

What an amazing TV show! If you have heard people talking about True Detective and how great a show it is, they aren't lying to you. You can keep all your shows about zombies that have no real ending, drug dealers, and serial killer shows that don't know when to stop. I'll stick to the show about two detectives trying to solve a bunch of creepy and grizzly ass murders going on in Louisiana.

This stars Woody Harrelson as Martin “Marty” Hart and Matthew McConaughey as Rustin “Rust” Cohle. Everyone just calls them Rust and Marty.

The way the show is paced in great. It goes back and forth between a terrible murder from 1995 and an investigation in 2012. When Marty who has two daughters and is married first meets Rust things are off from the beginning. Rust is a strange man. He has his beliefs and they are strong and there's no way in hell to convince him otherwise. He rubs people the wrong way with his straightforward way of talking and handling things. Marty seems good at his job but of course as the series goes on you see more and more of what is wrong with this guy.

Update On Father Killed For Texting In Theater

Remember a few months back when I wrote about that old man shooting that guy in a movie theater for texting in Florida? CLICK HERE if you haven't. So the case is going on now where the 71 year old former police captain Curtis Reeves shot and killed 43 year old Chad Oulson and wounded his wife Nicole Oulson. Reeves has plead not guilty to second-degree murder and could get 25 years in prison if convicted. Might as well say death. Well it turns out that Reeves was texting just minutes before he shot and killed a man for doing the same damned thing.

Reeves received a text from his son, Matthew Reeves, saying that he was running late for the screening of Lone Survivor and his father replied that he and his wife were there and already seated. Now, in the original reports there was never any mention of the fact that his wife was there with him. I pictured this angry, old man just wanting to see some war films. His son Matthew apparently arrived just as the shot was fired.

Nothing But Gossip March 8th 2014

Marc Anthony in a plea to not have the child support for his kids raised from $13,000 a month to a ridiculous $130,000 had a psychologist explain “the problems of children who are raised with near unlimited funds, particularly children in Los Angeles whose parents have made very large amounts of money in the entertainment industry.” Well played, sir. Well played. And its true. Even if there were ten kids it'd be too much money.

Selena Gomez is back to being stupid. She is once again hanging out with Justin Bieber's dumb ass which means that she is officially a dumb ass as well. Its science, people. You do recall she was in rehab and bounced early due to either drinking and drug issues related to Bieber or Bieber himself. Speaking of which...

A chick named Qianying Zhao broke into his house in Atlanta. She says she was invited and when she got there everyone was gone so she decided to just sleep in his house. Creepy much? She was arrested for trespassing.

Theater Whore: Non-Stop

Non-Stop 5/10

That Liam Neeson, huh? For the past few years he has been cranking out crazy film after crazy film. Action films where no one believes he is who he says. Films where his daughter gets kidnapped and then the sequel where he and his wife have to be saved by the daughter. Battleship. How about the one where he fought wolves? Just nonsense. And I love it. I like that he is making films where he punches things until they stop moving.

In this movie Non-Stop Neeson plays a guy named Bill Marks who is a U.S federal air marshal. You can tell from the start that he has a drinking problem. As he gets to the plane he comes across various assholes who are also on the same flight. He gets on and meets this lady named Jen Summers played by Julianne Moore.

DVDiculous: Old Boy

It was hard to watch this Old Boy movie without comparing it to the original that came out eleven years ago. But I tried my best and gave it a shot. I just watched it as if Spike Lee made this original film that was nothing like any other he'd done before. I mean, I give Lee credit for stepping out. He has done a few films that if you didn't know it was him you'd think it was some new director. Films like The 25th Hour and Inside Man were incredible and unlike his other films except for that rolling camera thing he does. And yes he does it in this one and its silly.

And yes there will be spoilers. 

Josh Brolin's character is an asshole. Just totally unlikable until it gets to the point where I don't even want him to win. You know what? Fuck it. I'm comparing this to the old film. This movie holds your hand throughout it so much that I actually said “Get locked up already!” They show so much of him being a fuck up, bad businessman, bad father, alcoholic, and terrible human being that by the time he is taken and locked in that room for twenty years it seems better for society.

"Bad Mamma Jamma": Cate Blanchett

A while ago I was getting pictures ready trying to figure out who was going to be the next Bad Mamma Jamma. I've mentioned before that it has gotten more difficult to do because women will usually just be used for jewelry to a guy in a movie or TV show. Its hard to find a woman that fits all the criteria for a BMJ. But a few months back I found one and am just now writing about her. This weeks BMJ is Cate Blanchett.

Born in Australia to an Australian mother and Texan father she described herself as being part extrovert part wallflower as a child. I don't even know how that is possible with a mother born in the scariest country on Earth and a father from the now second scariest state in America. One would assume she runs around at 10 all the time. She studied fine arts and economics before saying “Fuck it” and traveling.

Theater Whore: Philomena

Philomena 7/10

Philomena is a good movie. Thanks for reading! I'm kidding. Shut up. I didn't have a strong desire to see this because I couldn't quite figure out what it was about and was too lazy to read a synopsis. From the poster it appeared to be a strange buddy comedy about a guy and an older lady. It wasn't. While there are some funny parts you won't be slapping yourself on the knee cracking up. This is based off of a true story and stars Judi Dench as Philomena and Steve Coogan as Martin Sixsmith.

Philomena is shown as a young woman living in Ireland who after getting her groove on with a guy she met gets pregnant. The nuns who she is staying with don't take too kindly to this. She gives birth to a baby boy who she and the other girls who have had kids get to see once a week for an hour in between doing hard labor at the convent to repay the nuns for their generosity. As an older lady looking back at her past she tells her daughter about her son that was taken away and sold to a wealthy American couple. Her daughter in turn tells disgraced journalist Martin about this tale.