This
will have spoilers. I watched this movie from a few years back called
Bernie after Cam suggested it. I had never heard of this movie or the
true story it was based off of. It stars Jack Black as Bernie Tiede.
He is a funeral director that ends up being the partner of this 81
year old woman and the next thing you know her ass is shot dead in
the garage and she is tossed in the freezer. The problem is...if this
guy goes to trial he will get off because the town loves him so
damned much!
Dante
and Jasmine are back playing each other songs that they have never
heard before. This time its Selena Gomez Good For You, painful
singing, Childish Gambino Bonfire, Rae Sremmurd Come Get Her, naked
folks in reality TV, The Ohio Players Funky Worm, Tory Lanez Say It,
ass tricks, BET Uncut, and the magical musical styling of R. Kelly
and his new song Poetic Sex. This was a really fun episode to record.
Click here for this and previous episodes of D & J DJ.
One
day while trolling Amazon I stumbled across this show called Olympus.
Its a show made in Canada that is about this guy called Hero that is
trying to rid himself of a curse. This will have spoilers by the way.
Tom York stars as Hero. The show starts off with him tied to a device
by a cyclops with his feet painted blue and about to be killed. He
gets free and rescues these three oracles. One of them turns out to
be who he is looking for, the Oracle of Gaia played by Sonya Cassidy.
This review is gonna be all over the place.
Hero
has this thing where he will not kill anyone. He knows nothing about
his family other than his mother who was killed when he was young
trying to protect him from some assassins that wanted what is inside
him called the Lexicon. They come across Daedalus, Icarus' father,
who is more science based than following a belief in the gods. They
end up in this kingdom where this crazy ass father and daughter are
together. The daughter played by Sophia Lauchlin Hirt is hot and
crazy as all hell. She wants Hero and will do anything and kill
anyone to have him.
It has been way too long since I did
one of these shows. I wanted to play some songs from the 80's that
folks could dance to. Its all very random. I play Wham! Freedom,
Shalamar A Night To Remember, Frankie Goes To Hollywood Relax, Yes
Owner Of A Lonely Heart, Chaka Khan I Feel For You, Lionel Richie All
Night Long, The Bangles Hazy Shade Of Winter, Company B Fascinated,
The Cover Girls Show Me, INXS New Sensation, and Lisa Lisa & the
Cult Jam Lost in Emotion. Click here to download this and previous
episodes.
There
will be some spoilers. Last night Cam and I went to check out the
film Room. I had seen the trailer and it looked like it would be a
super sad and miserable film. While it was a dark subject matter the
movie wasn't as depressing as I thought it would be. This movie is
about a boy named Jack played by Jacob Tremblay and his mother Ma
played by Brie Larson who live in a room all by themselves except for
a visit every few nights by this guy known as Old Nick.
I
finally got around to watching the new Creed film starring Michael B.
Johnson and Sylvester Stallone. I was slightly hesitant to watch
this. There has been six previous Rocky movies and I've enjoyed five
of them. We don't talk about Rocky V. With this one I was expecting a
bootleg style reboot but I was wrong. This movie blended perfectly
into the previous films and I would actually like to see some more of
these. The story is pretty simple the way it should be.
Jordan
plays Adonis “Donnie” Johnson. He lives in a juvenile center when
a lady played by Phylicia Rashad that slept with Apollo Creed shows
up and takes him into her home. He is a bad ass kid which fast
forwards to him quitting his job so that he can learn to be a better
fighter. His mother does not want him doing it explaining to him how
she had to wipe his dads ass because he was so hurt from boxing. Oh,
and he died in the ring. That happened. He ends up getting Rocky to
help him train after much convincing. Bring on the training montage!
The
same guy that has been doing those amazing looking porn spoofs of
comic book movies Axel Braun is back at it again. This time he is
combining two Marvel franchises that will never actually cross over
in film, Avengers Vs. X-Men XXX. Just going by the images of these
characters I kinda want to see this as a straight up film. I
previously wrote about his Batman V. Superman XXX, Captain America XXX, and Wonder Woman XXX. In an interview Braun said “As a comic
fan, this is the movie I have been eager to see! I was blessed with a
terrific cast and with a storyline that allowed for some awesome
parody moments, so in the end we were able to create a spoof that's
exactly as fun, sexy and entertaining as I had hoped.”
Skin Diamond as Storm is my favorite one by the way. The rest of the cast
includes Penny Pax as Mockingbird, Chanel Preston as Polaris, Dana
Vespoli as Psylocke, Katie St. Ives as Kitty Pride, Zoe Voss as Wasp,
Jazy Berlin as Black Cat, Jayden Jaymes as Maria Hill, Josh Rivers as
Captain America, Nat Turnher as Luke Cage, Jason Matrix as Havok, Tom
Byron as Magneto, Marcus London as Banshee, Jack Vegas as Dr.
Strange, Lexington Steele as Nic Fury, and Billy Glide as Colossus.
The last guy listed is dead now. For real. Not, like, comic book
dead. These porn names are better than comic book names.
I'm
not gonna get into the trailer for the X:Men Apocalypse trailer that
was released because it looks exactly like I was expecting it to and
I've already written about it. But right after watching it I saw that
a trailer was released for the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out
Of The Shadows was released. I was drinking coffee so I was good and
hyped to suffer through some bullshit. This trailer was actually
worse than anything I could've imagined.
The
turtles still look creepy as hell so they got that down. Megan Fox
returns to pretend to be April O'Neil But they have Casey Jones in
this movie that I didn't know was being made and he looks like a
pretty boy because he is being played by Stephen Amell who stars on
Arrow. He looks absolutely nothing like Jones should. No knock on
Amell because I like him when he pops up on The Flash. But the Jones
I want sounds like Clint Eastwood and never shows his face. I want a
violent asshole in a hockey mask not named Jason Vorhees.
I did
it. I watched Jem & The Holograms. I told everyone that I was
gonna do it and I did it. Now I feel terrible. It wasn't as bad as I
was expecting but when I was expecting for my face to melt off and my
ancestors to rise from their graves and shout in anger that is not
saying much. This was not a movie for anyone that ever enjoyed the
series or just likes the character of Jem. This movie is great for an
11 year old girl that has never heard of Jem and just stumbled across
this. Oh, and she has to have terrible taste in music and have no
concept of how the internet works. That helps.
Call
me crazy, but there has always been a connection between the way porn
actresses look at a particular time and female wrestlers. For anyone
that doesn't know, I worked at a porn shop for seven years. Seven
long, insane, disgusting years. I have also watched wrestling for 33
years. The image in the banner by the way is Chyna. I used her image
because honestly that shit is crazy. That is the same human being.
She showed up jacked to the moon, trimmed down, did Playboy, and is
now...around.
I am
going to use some examples from porn actresses and female wrestlers
to show you how I have always seen this strange connection. Who
knows? For any aspiring porn stars and wrestlers you can even use
this to see what look you should be going for by watching one or the
other. Hell, Chyna made the transition from wrestler to porn actress!
The
second movie Cam and I watched was Brooklyn starring Saoirse Ronan
who I later realized I'd seen in Hanna and The Grand Budapest Hotel.
Brooklyn is about a young girl from Ireland named Ellis Lacey being
given the opportunity to move to America in the early 1950's. She
leaves behind her mother, sister, and her friends. She gets there and
is all kinds of sad until she meets this super nice guy Tony played
by Emory Cohen with an Italian family. She lives in a boarding house
with these other girls and they bring most of the funny moments at
the dinner table. There was one moment that made me cackle for a
moment surely embarrassing Cam.
This
was the first of two films Cam and I saw during our annual Oscar
catch up. She said we were seeing two movies and I had no idea which
ones or what they were about. I knew nothing going in and this is fun
with her. The Danish Girl stars Eddie Redmayne and Gerda Wegener in
this semi-biography about one of the first transgenders ever.
Redmayne plays Einar Wegener who is an artist married to another
artist Gerda Wegener. He is very successful while she is trying to
get a show going but quite cant. One day she has her husband pose
because a model she is using is late.
In
this show Dante is introduced to the world of Ty Dolla Sign and his
song Blase. He then plays Kool Moe Dee's song I Go To Work. Jasmine comes
back with Yo Gotti It Go Down In The DM. Angela Simmons and if she is
pretty or not is discussed. Then some discussion about song beats
featuring Father MC and Mary J. Blige's breasts. Drake Jumpman is
played while wondering if Future has a career as well as his ashy leg
as Dante is horrified by his video Rich Sex featuring Blac Chyna.
Alisha Keys side chick status, Christina Milian's bad life choices,
and the future of music videos are also discussed in this episode.
Click here to download and thanks for listening.
There
will be spoilers. So...yeah. I watched Hunger Games Mockingjay Part 2
today because I watched part one recently (click here to read that)
and since I'd seen three of the four damned movies I was kinda all
in. This continues right where the last film left off which makes
sense since it was a two and a half hour long trailer. Jennifer
Lawrence plays Katniss and she is still moping around and doesn't
want to fight. Well too goddamn bad, sister. Shit is close to going
down.
Everyone
gets killed. Well, mostly everyone. I cant believe this far in they
have the nerve to try and introduce new characters. One of my
complaints with the very first film was that there was no character
development so when these kids got slaughtered I didn't care. Same
for this one. People from the last movie get wrecked and I didn't
give a damn. This movie was so much weak sauce. I mean, the last
movie was over two hours of bullshit so this one needed to hit the
ground running. Guess what? It didn't!
I got
to see the movie Legend starring Tom Hardy and damn this was good. I
did not know this movie existed or came out which makes perfect sense
because fuck getting people like me to watch something new that's
great, right? This is one of those movies that has a ton of actors
from things where I know their face but not their name because they
are from England. This movie was based off of real guys and as crazy
as they seem in the movie it turns out they were way worse in real
life.
I just
finished plowing through all 13 episodes of the new Netflix series
Jessica Jones and holy shit. Based on the trailers I was not excited
at all to check the series out. I thought they were just cranking out
anything after the success of Daredevil and that we were beginning
the slow decline of cool comic book based shows and movies. I was
extremely wrong. This show had my ass all over the internet trying to
figure out who Jessica Jones and The Purple Man were. There will be
spoilers because they released every episode in one day.
This
show stars Krysten Ritter as Jessica Jones. She's a fuck up that has
gone through some things. Oh, and she has super powers. Really
strong. Can jump far. Durable. Loves to drink. Jessica runs Alias
Investigations where she pretty much snoops on people for others. She
is suffering PTSD after being held captive by this guy Kilgrave aka
The Purple Man played by David Tennant. He has the ability to get you
to do whatever he says just by saying it to you. And by whatever I
mean anything from killing others or even yourself. She managed to
break from his control and now he is all about getting her back.
Meanwhile she has a fucked up secret that is threatening to come out.
A new
image was released of Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman and I was less than
impressed considering that a full image of her was released months
ago. She spoke of playing WW in an upcoming (2017) movie and said “Oh,
my God, I'm so excited about this role. I feel like I've been given a
huge opportunity to inspire people, not only women. And not because
of me but because of who Wonder Woman is and what she stands for.
There's a lot of responsibility. But I have the best team and the
best people to work with. It's going to be an amazing ride, knock on
wood.” On IMDB the small synopsis of the movie is “An Amazon
princess comes to the world of Man to become the greatest of the
superheroines.”
It is
being directed by Patty Jenkins who only other movie credit is
Monster from 2003 and starred Charlize Theron. God, why couldn't she
have been cast as Wonder Woman? The writer is a guy that did one of
the Ice Age sequels and that Pan movie that came out a little bit ago
and tanked (on a budget of $150 million it has made just $33 million
in the last month and a half). I don't have too much hope for this
movie or most of the upcoming ones (check that post out here). I
don't hate DC films. People pick sides. You're either Marvel or DC.
Its bullshit. I'm pro good films. The best Marvel thing made has been
Daredevil and the best DC has been Batman. The whole set of DC films
hinge on Batman V. Superman being incredible and I just don't see it
being that.
I
asked Cam who also saw Beasts Of No Nation if I should make this a
Theater Whore post instead of a The Review. It was in the theaters
for a minute so I went with yes because the herd for good movies this
year is thinner than the backstage area of a Victoria Secrets show.
This movie was written, directed, and filmed by Joji Fukunaga who
also did the same for the first season of True Detective which was
great. This stars Idris Elba and new actor Abraham Attah as
Commandant and Agu. Commandant is a part of a revolution taking place
in West Africa while Agu is dragged along for a violent, intense,
incredible ride.
Agu is
just a young boy in his village enjoying time with his friends and
family while on the precipice of chaos as a war takes place. One day
he is separated from his family and eventually the rest are
slaughtered as they try to escape soldiers. He makes his way into the
jungles where he is found by other young boys armed to the teeth. He
joins up and fucking madness ensues.
Scouts Guide To The Zombie Apocalypse had the potential to be super funny. Its about three high
school aged scouts and a cocktail waitress trying to survive a zombie
outbreak in their town. While there are for sure some parts that made
me laugh out loud (“She's gumming my ass!”) the movie while less
than 90 minutes long felt longer for some reason. I'm not quite sure
who this is for. Not teens because of the nudity and the amount of
cursing even though in real life teens are far worse. Not enough of a
story for adults. Its one of those movies that if it were on cable
would be fun to check out. Its not scary and the jump scares it does
have tend to be for comedic effect like friends jumping out quickly
for no reason. I will say, this movie had great advertising and a
cool soundtrack.
Billboard
magazine recently released a list of the Top 10 Rappers Of All Time.
As you can probably guess, its bullshit. In late 2013 I made a list
of my Top Five Rappers Of All Time and from what I can recall I
didn't get much in the way of disagreement. Strangely, only one of
mine made Billboard's ten. Actually, its not that strange. When
people make lists a lot of people disagree with them because we all
have our favorites and those we think deserve more respect.
Billboard
said “Diehard fans, music nerds and critics love lists. But in rap,
rankings like this take on a special level of import: aside from
moving a crowd (shouts to Rakim), MC means proving you're the best.
In no other genre do artists so blatantly express their desire to
outdo competition. That made Billboard's editorial list a more
high-stakes undertaking than usual. Many favorites -- Kane, Drake,
KRS -- didn't make it, and each of those omissions hurts deep down.
Note: we're ranking these folks as MCs, not artists. That's why Dr.
Dre and Kanye West, for example, two legendary producer-rappers who
don't match the mic skills of those listed here, were left out. Even
Tupac, perhaps the most influential rapper ever globally, is arguably
known more for great songwriting than dominant bars.”
I
started producing songs a few months ago for rapper Dan-e-o and was
one of the winners of a contest. While creating beats and such I
started to have the idea of creating a soundtrack for a video game.
No, this game does not exist. I originally planned on making maybe
three songs for it. Next thing you know there are songs for each
level, boss battles, and bonus stages. Steel Punch was born!
Eventually
I'll get around to creating characters and a back story for this but
for now it exists as a video game in my head with a soundtrack for
anyone to check out. This was fun to do and I tried to keep it based
on the music that inspired it like Streets Of Rage, Daft Punk, and
the Drive soundtrack. Click here if you want to download it as an
mp3.
Once
again Katniss Everdeen returns to trick unsuspecting mothers into
thinking they have found a female hero for their daughters! For some
reason I decided to watch Hunger Games Mockingjay which is the third
movie (click here for a review of the first and second films) but had that part one thing because they decided to make a two
hour trailer out of this film. Jennifer Lawrence returns to make her
ugly crying face while being saved by every guy that is around her.
If you have hugged Katniss, chances are you are not long for this
world. Or you're gonna get tortured until you become a 5 foot 1
killing machine that has enough power to toss guards around the room
before trying to choke out Katniss. That happened.
I
recently watched the 2007 Marvel animated film Doctor Strange: The
Sorcerer Supreme. I had no idea this even existed. Not that I would
have searched hard for it seeing as how I'm not really a fan of Dr.
Strange and Marvel animated movies tend to stink. This turned out to
be pretty decent. It is the origin of how Strange went from being
asshole surgeon to one of the greatest sorcerers in the Marvel
universe. All in what seems to be a few months.
If you
have not seen the BBC series Luther starring Idris Elba maybe you
just have something against good TV or you're one of those people
that say you don't have time to watch TV but spend hours texting
every day which proves you are terrible at time management. Or
perhaps you are someone that thinks they have enough shows to watch
and do not need to see another cop show. Wrong! You can keep your
shuffling ass zombies or contests to crown the next a American loser.
I'll stick with this show about a detective that is always on the
edge of losing his shit.
This
is about a Detective Chief Inspector named John Luther. Luther is as
someone tells him “Fighting for the dead.” He can not have a
healthy relationship no matter how much he thinks he can. He does
things that are beyond illegal for what he thinks are good reasons.
He could also steal your wife with a wink. That is a superpower I've
been working on for years now. This show has now aired three series
(that is what they call seasons over there) which consist of six, four,
and four episodes. Here are the 10 Reasons Why You Should Have Watch Luther.
Don't be stupid. You know this will contain spoilers.
So...that
was a movie. I watched the latest James Bond film Spectre and was
super excited since I have liked all of the Daniel Craig Bonds but this
film had nothing to offer me in terms of entertainment. It was just
happening. I couldn't get interested in the story, the characters,
the villains, or the gadgets. It was like Craig didn't want to be
there and everyone's acting seemed a bit off. They got the action
right but even that got old. This movie was over two hours long and
felt way longer than that. I can't suggest this to anyone.
The
first film Koko and I saw for the AFI festival was Tale Of Tales. I
knew nothing of this movie going in and intentionally wanted it that
way. When I see independent or strange ass foreign films the less I
know the better. This film was based on some old fairy tales where it
involves three separate kingdoms and their rulers actions and wants
leading to terrible things occurring. The stories kind of go back and
forth between each other. There will be spoilers.
The
first starred Selma Hayek and John C. Reilly as a king and queen that
want children but can not have them. The queen has tried many things
but none seem to work. One day this creepy ass guy shows up and tells
her that she needs the heart of a sea creature that is cooked by a
virgin for her to instantly become pregnant. She is all in. The king
goes to slay this creature and is mortally wounded. She finds a
virgin that cooks this massive heart and while doing so the virgin as
well as the queen become pregnant.
Today
Koko and I went to the AFI films where we saw two movies. This was
the second one called Free In Deed which was based off of actual
events. This is the story of a man played by David Harewood with a
strong faith in god and trying to make up for whatever he did in the
past as well as a single mother played by Edwina Findley Dickerson
that is struggling to work and take care of her two children, one of
whom has something wrong where he has violent fits. She can not
control him, he gets kicked out of school, and she turns to the
church and this guys healing hands for help. This could only end
badly.
Halle
Berry is a confusing puzzle to solve. Now before you read any further
understand that I know this woman's life is none of my business but I
have lots of time, type quickly, and enjoy gossip. Now as I was
saying, Halle is confusing. I have seen her in person once and she is
very beautiful. I have described her as too beautiful. I have written
about her and her marriage here and described what I call the Halle Berry Theory here a few years ago after she kept popping up in the
news for random reasons.
Recently
she has been in the news because of her and Olivier Martinez pending
divorce and I was like "Damn, how many times has this woman been
married?" Turns out four times. Imagine walking down the aisle and
telling god and whoever is there that you're doing this till death do
you part four separate times. If you look it up a lot of actors and
actresses back in the day would do this too. Another reason she is in
the news is because one of her previous spouses, David Justice, spoke
out about her. For those that don't know, everyone thought he was the
one that hit her so hard she says she lost 80% of the hearing in one
of her ears so when you thought of this guy you thought baseball and
hit Halle. He has since deleted these tweets. Some say it was Christopher Williams that hit her who then said it was Wesley Snipes.
Last
night Cam and I did a double feature with Chipotle for dinner, beer,
and cookies for dessert because we're grown ass people and can do
things like that. It had been a long time since we had and we watched
two movies she loved and I had never seen. The first was Staying
Alive. I had seen Saturday Night Fever for the first time three years
ago and the only thing I knew about this movie was the weird ass
outfit he wore for some reason. This is six years after the previous
film and was written, produced, and directed by Sylvester Stallone.
What?! I had no idea. When I say I got into movies blind I mean it.
John
Travolta is back as Tony Manero. He is in Manhattan now and lives in
what looks like an open door jail while having a bunch of jobs at
once. He is a dance instructor which they show for a moment and a
waiter where woman that look like The Misfits hit on him. He has a
fuck buddy named Jackie that puts up with copious amounts of his
bullshit. If I thought he was a dick in the first film he has evolved
into an asshole into the second. He ends up on a Broadway show where
she is and meeting this other chick that is very toothy named Laura.
The
phrase “Its just the pilot” can no longer be used as an excuse
for a new series. We live in a time where there are way too many TV
shows on for the first episode to not at least get close to be really
good. The new Supergirl series debuted on CBS last night and it was
just like I feared it would be according to a post I did earlier this
year. This show suffers from uneven acting to a very rushed origin
story and by the middle of it I was ready to check out. Supergirl is
already a character that I'm not a fan of except in the Justice League cartoons. But the same could be said for Flash. I was not a
fan of him at all but love the show.
Melissa
Benoist stars as Kara Zor-El aka Kara Danvers aka Supergirl. This
starts off with her being put on a rocket ship from Krypton and told
that she is supposed to protect her cousin who would one day become
every version of the name Superman. Its weird. I think they said his
name maybe once and used other versions the rest of the time. Her
ship gets knocked off course and by the time she gets to Earth he's
already doing his thing. She is raised like a normal girl fully aware
that she is strong as all hell. A dull girl becomes a dull girl with powers.
Sicario
is one of those movies that I know I should like but for whatever
reason does not work for me. It has good actors like Benicio Del Toro, Josh Brolin, and Emily Blunt aka Lady Punching Bag. Its about a
SWAT member being recruited to help dirty people stop other dirty
people by being dirtier than the people they are hunting. It starts
off hard and fast then drops to a very slow crawl until the very end
of what felt like a three hour movie. I could have left, played some
video games, had a quick lunch, came back, and still not have missed
any information that was important to the story. After watching this
I read reviews and people love this movie. Every year there is a
movie people love that I don't get at all. This is that movie for
2015.
This
will have some spoilers. “I'm gonna science the shit out of this
planet.” And he does! This is not Gravity. Its is not close to that
film for a lot of reasons and I was happy for it. The Martian stars
Matt Damon as a botanist stranded on Mars after a storm occurs and his
crew is forced to leave him behind thinking he is dead. He's not and
that sucks because he is stuck on Mars with enough food for a whole
crew but not enough to, like, live forever.
The
cast of this also includes Jessica Chastain, Kristen Wiig, Jeff
Daniels, Michael Peña, Kate Mara, Donald Glover, Sean Bean,
Sebastian Stan, Aksel Hennie, and Chiwetel Ejiofor. They are all
really good and even some folks I didn't mention that have smaller
parts. A lot of this movie is spent wanting Mark Watney played by
Damon to survive. I laughed, I cheered, I screamed “Fuck!” when
he did after something went wrong. Watney would spend parts of his
days making video logs and complaining about the only music being
available being disco which made the movie funnier.
I
checked out this movie called What We Do In The Shadows. There will
be spoilers. Its a comedy about four vampires that are roommates
being filmed for a documentary. There is Deacon, Viago, Vladislav,
and 8,000 year old Petyr who is in the movie just enough to keep him
creepy as hell and funny. They are recorded talking about their daily
lives and how it is being in the modern world which they are bad at.
Deacon has a helper named Jackie who has been waiting years to be
turned into a vampire. She does their laundry and helps bring
victims, preferably virgins. As he puts it “I think of it like
this. If you are going to eat a sandwich, you would just enjoy it
more if you knew no one had fucked it.”
When
the image of the character Apocalypse was released a while back I was
pissed. My first introduction to the character was I the X-Men
animated cartoon and I was intrigued. Who the hell was this guy that
could fly, change shape, super strong, shot lasers, and had a talking
spaceship? At the time he was just some mutant that wanted to kill
weaker mutants and humans. Then Marvel started giving more back story
on the guy.
"In
the harsh, unforgiving desert of ancient Egypt, ruled by Rama-Tut, a
band of nomadic raiders found an infant, gray-skinned and freakish in
appearance, abandoned by the settlers of Akkaba. The nomads took the
child for their own, giving him the name En Sabah Nur, 'The First
One,' and teaching him to be 'strong' in order to survive the desert
as a child. This idea, that 'the strong will survive,' would shape
Apocalypse's actions throughout time."
I
finally got around to watching Justice League Gods And Monsters and I
didn't enjoy it all that much. I had watched the shorts and got the
same feeling I did when watching the movie which was I felt like
there had been an entire series that I somehow had no idea about. It
is a very different take on the DC Universe which could easily work
if there had been individual films about each of the characters. As
it is, each was told through flashbacks that should have been at the
beginning of the movie and gone from there.
In
this version Superman is the son of General Zod but on Earth after
crashing as a baby is found by a Mexican couple who name him Hernan
Guerra. He's a dick but effective. Batman is not Bruce Wayne but
instead Kirk Langstrom who is normally Man-Bat. He was sick, took an
injection, became a vampire. Its silly. And Wonder Woman is a New God
named Bekka whose husband Orion was slaughtered and she tapped out and
came to Earth. Its weak.
I got
to see the movie The Woman In Black starring Daniel Radcliffe with
H., Beastman, and B. the other day. I'd heard of the movie and ha a
vague idea of what it was about. Thankfully it was not one of those
“based on a true story” movies that have no real ending. I hate
those. It's always some bendy White girl that does yoga posing weird
and screaming while vomiting black goo. I just described my next
girlfriend.
This
movie is about Radcliffe as Arthur Kipps who is a lawyer heading to
this creepy ass small English village which means that everyone there
will be creepy and superstitious. He is going there to handle a dead
woman's papers and leaves his son and caretaker behind. When he gets
there everyone tries to hurry him out but he is stubborn (stupid) and
stays to finish the job even though there is an obviously angry ghost
haunting the place and making kids kill themselves.
I
checked out the 1986 movie The Hitcher at the suggestion of the same
coworker that suggested The River Wild and Invasion Of The Body Snatchers. This movie has a very simple premise that goes right off
the rails as the movie goes on. Don't get me wrong, this was a cool
80's movie I'd heard of but never seen before. But at a certain point
I just kept going “These are cartoon characters!”
It
starts off with this young guy named Jim played by C. Thomas Howell
who is driving a car from Chicago to San Diego. He is falling asleep
at the wheel like an asshole when he spots someone hitchhiking. And
that someone is John Ryder played by Rutger Hauer who is in full on
crazy mode. Within moments of being in the car he whips out a knife
and threatens the kid. He eventually boots his crazy ass from the car
while its moving and cheers.
I
finally checked out the 1978 movie Invasion Of The Body Snatchers. I
had heard of this and other versions for years but never had a desire
to really check it out until talking about horror films and such at
work. I even had it bookmarked from months ago after someone else
mentioned it. All I knew about it was pod people, creepy Sutherland
face, and strange music. Turns out it was a really good film that had
strange music, odd camera angles, and actors making me want to slap
them for making bad decisions that ultimately led to a lot of deaths.
Some
juicy spores come from space and land on plants which people
immediately walk around picking up and sniffing. This lady Elizabeth
Driscoll played by Brooke Adams brings one home and her boyfriend that is watching TV with
headphones because the 70's ends up smelling it as well. Next thing
you know he is acting distant, working too much, and not talking to
her. He's pretty much being a husband. She knows something is up but
isn't quite sure because Ashley Madison doesn't exist yet so it cant
be that.
